Fifteen years ago, Howard going on Rosie O’Donnell’s would have been impossible.
He used to call her a “pumpkin head.”
But today, Howard doing Rosie was as easy as walking down the hall.
“Rosie O’Donnell is doing her show that airs on Stars channel at 10AM, she’s doing it from a studio here, right next to where they do The Wrap-up Show,” explained Howard, “So Rosie invited me on as a guest. She said would you just walk by, stop by and say hello on the air.”
Howard was happy to do it. He actually stayed on with Rosie for about 45 minutes. It was great, an instant classic.
So Howard ended the show at 10:30-ish and popped in to see Rosie.
While he made his way down the hall, we were treated to a rare Fred segment with Robin Quivers as host, where we learned that Fred likes to watch TV, rehearse with his band—not to cut that off.
Howard was on the air with Rosie; simulcast on Howard 100 and Sirius Stars, channel 102.
He and Rosie exchanged pleasantries and then Howard got down to the serious issues.
Are Rosie and her new girlfriend using the Sybian—or “Sym-bian” as Rosie puts it—that Howard got Rosie as a welcome to Sirius gift.
“I know what you need to know,” Rosie said to Howard, “Did we use the Sym-bian?”
So Howard asked, “Where is the Sybian that I sent you?”
Get your tissues ready!
“It’s actually a foot rest in my studio in Nyak,” said Rosie the cock—err, pussy—tease.
Rosie was pretty adamant that they won’t be using it.
So Howard asked, “Why? I’m being serious now. No joke. Why not incorporate the Sybian into your sex life.”
“Okay, let me explain to you,” Rosie replied, “The [Hitachi] Magic Wand is too powerful for the average woman. I feel as though it could numb vital organs down there.”
And the Sybian can drill oil wells!
“The Pocket Rocket for a woman is the most appropriate thing,” Howard told Rosie.
I guess Beth has a gun rack of them in her closet.
Rosie is afraid of the Sybian, saying, “I feel the Sym-bian is like the Magic Wand times ten, and it may explode me internally.”
Hey Rosie! It’s S-Y-B-I-A-N, not Sym-bian. Sorry, that was making me mental.
“You mean to tell me, I sent you a Sybian and you never sat on it or tried it?” Howard asked.
Rosie replied, “I have had my feet on it every single show. I turn the vibration on sometimes.”
The pervy attachments are what really scares the shit out or Rosie.
Rosie joked, “One looked like a Chia Pet.”
“Just sit on the damn thing and tell me how it is,” Howard barked, “What you need to do, right on the air, you sit on it and tell people how you feel. Believe me, this will be huge!”
Listen, Rosie’s not exactly Pamela Anderson, but if she spreads her big beef curtains and squats on the Sybian, I’d fork over some dough to see it.
It’s like a bad car wreck. You got to look, even if it scars your retinas forever.
January 27th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who wanted to smack Rosie if she said Sym-bian one more time! It was a great interview though.
You do a great job on your site Gerry, I check it several times a day.
You and Matt make Howard’s site look silly.
January 29th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
“Listen, Rosie’s not exactly Pamela Anderson, but if she spreads her big beef curtains and squats on the Sybian, I’d fork over some dough to see it.
It’s like a bad car wreck. You got to look, even if it scars your retinas forever.”
TOO FUNNY!!!