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Obama rocks out the auto-tune – steals Howard’s bit

Friday, March 12, 2010

Ha! Looks like President Obama is trying out the auto-tune too. And he’s having just about the same amount of “success” with it too.

Diceman hates George Costanza – Gary fucks up the headphones

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Dice was in studio today. It was classic Dice, all sorts of crazy, loud, and obnoxious. Awesome! But the interview didn’t get too far before Howard lost it on Gary, Howard didn’t like how Dice sounded through the microphone. “This goes on with every guest!” Howard roared. Howard wants action. Gary has to crack the whip. He’s got [...]

JD flies to Los Angeles to bang Ashely Dupre – TMZ wants in — UPDATE — JD is just a friend

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Poor JD got bombarded today. The opening salvo made fun of his bad—err, new—haircut. He looks like Louis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds. “The thing was you had good hair and you cut it all off,” Howard told JD, “I don’t get you! JD replied with something that sounded like, “It’s not that horrible. I’ve had [...]

Hillbillies terrorized Howard in Hartford – Howard wants to be Chuck Zito

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Working in Hartford, Connecticut was no picnic for Howard, not only did the job suck, but he lived in a run down condo, next to a bunch of hicks. And Cletus didn’t like what Howard did on the radio, so they’d post signs all over Howard’s door. “Hey man, you have your free speech, but I can’t [...]

Everyone steals from Howard – Jay Leno is a “fucking crook”

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Howard got charged up about people stealing his bits again, like Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. “It’s very upsetting to me when someone lifts my game show ideas,” he said. Howard admitted today he talked to a lawyer about suing the show, but the guy told him it is “very difficult” to take action in [...]

Robin sexes it up – she wants to bang Howard

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Robin whored it up today. The studio was abuzz about her short skirt and hooker boots. “You’re a whole sexpot this morning,” says Howard, “Everyone is commenting on your look, and they like it.” Robin replied, “Well, it’s nice to be considered sexy.” Howard thinks Robin is just dolling herself up for him. They’re hanging out tonight. “I thought [...]

Britain is shipping 42 million condoms to South Africa, for the World Cup

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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To help stop the spread of HIV during the World Cup, Great Britain is sending 42 million condoms to South Africa. That’s $1.5 million worth of rubbers. Sounds like the World Cup of cock! In South Africa, it’s estimated that 5.7 million people have HIV. That’s one in every five adults, with 1,400 new cases of the [...]

Jamie Jungers wins the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant!”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Jamie Jungers pulls it off, winning the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.” To go with her crown, sash, and golf inspired bouquet, Jamie takes home $75,000 courtesy of Ashley Madison, a black diamond ring via Steven Singer, and a 50 inch TV from Beezid.com. The voting was swift and decisive with Gary, Fred, and Ashley Madison [...]

Jamiee Grubbs was “laxed” on condoms with Tiger – his penis isn’t that big

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Jamiee Grubbs was the last contestant in the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant,” and she didn’t disappoint either. She’s kooky and angry. That’s so fucking sexy! “You look like a fun girl,” Howard said to Jamiee, “You know how to rock a bikini as they say!” It’s obvious by now. Tiger has good taste in women. “Were you [...]

Loredana Jolie says Tiger fucks better than Michael Jordon – Tiger wants his asshole licked

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Smoking hot Loredana Jolie was up next in “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.” “You’re a very beautiful woman,” said Howard, “You are tan. You have very big breasts. Are those real or fake?” Loredana replied, “Really expensive.” Howard asked Loredana how her life has been since being outted as one of Tiger’s girls. She called it “confusing.” “You have different [...]

Tiger makes Jamie Jungers fly coach – she’s a hot “little coffee cup”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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First to brave the studio was Jamie Jungers. “Jamie, you are one hot babe, good God!” Howard exclaimed, “I can see why Tiger carried on with you.” Howard called her a “hot tomato.” Too funny! Jamie says she met Tiger Woods in Las Vegas during a charity event at the Bellagio. They hooked up right away, but [...]

“Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” – Jamiee Grubbs, Loredana Jolie, Jamie Jungers, bare all

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Tiger’s worst nightmare just came true. Howard’s monstrosity the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” went down today. Three of Tiger’s former mistresses spilled the beans on the world’s greatest golfer: Jamiee Grubbs, Loredana Jolie, and Jamie Jungers. Las Vegas sports books actually placed odds on who would show up: Jamiee Grubs +500, Jamie Jungers +500, and Loredana [...]

Howard sounds ready to retire – “I think I’m done!”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Howard touched on his future again, but he didn’t give a definitive answer. “I really do believe I’m at the end of the road,” says Howard, “I think I’m done.” Howard is ready to stay home, sleep in, play chess, and stare at the wall all day. But Ralph doesn’t think so, telling Howard, “I think you’d like [...]

Gay pornstar chokes and dies after police taser – it’s all caught on tape

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Gay pornstar Dustin Michaels—real name Andrew Grande—asphyxiated and died yesterday after swallowing a bag of pot during an altercation with Florida police. Shouldn’t “Grande” be his porn name? Cops were called after Andrew got into a fight with a friend. The situation escalated when police tried to handcuff Andrew and he resisted. During the mayhem, Andrew attempted to [...]

No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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With Artie gone, a lot of fans want Jackie the Jokeman to jump into his grave—err, chair. But it’s not happening anytime soon. “I am in no way ready to move on and just put Jackie in the chair,” said Howard. Robin and Fred are the most adamant about Jackie not returning to the show. “Robin for three years [...]

Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help – major media backlash against Howard

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Howard got slammed in the media for calling star of Precious Gabourey Sidibe a big fatso. “There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen,” Howard said yesterday, “Everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie.” Howard played a bunch of news reports trashing him for his [...]

Oscars cut Tiger Woods jokes – it was “too rude”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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The douche bags in charge of the Academy Awards chickened out and clipped a series of Tiger Woods jokes from the show. Hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were supposed to deliver the lines. An insider tells Page Six, “Some of the Tiger jokes were deemed too rude.” Fucking pussies! Grow a set. But Tiger won’t catch any breaks [...]

Jesse Ventura wants more gays in the military

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by today. Jesse is always a topnotch guest. He’s super interesting. Howard asked Jesse how he feels about gays in the military. For a big tough macho guy, Jesse is very liberal on it. “How dare us not allow gay people to serve their country,” he told Howard, “We are not the ‘Hetero [...]

Howard manipulated “Private Parts” to make women like him

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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When talking to Jesse Ventura about conspiracy theories today, Howard revealed a dirty little secret of his own. Howard and a team of writers made a concerted effort to make Private Parts the movie appealing to women. “Men listen to you. Women think you’re disgusting. How can we take this movie and create some sort of arc [...]

Maniac chef sells breast milk cheese – quick, call the authorities!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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A chef at restaurant Klee Brasserie in New York City needs to be shot. McCreepy is offering cheese made out of his wife’s breast milk. “Thank you for telling me the name, I won’t be going there,” Robin told Howard. Howard thought it was disgusting—yes, it is—but the restaurant claims their phone is ringing off the hook. “I [...]

“Joke Hunt” hijacks Howard 100 – Jackie wants back on the show

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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After the show yesterday, Howard caught a listen to Jackie’s new plug for Joke Hunt. It pissed Howard off. The plug is convoluted and too long. “The promo was just kind of hijacking the airway,” Howard barked, “Get this off! I want this off!” Maybe all this is an elaborate plan for Jackie to get back on the [...]

Dan Rather says Obama couldn’t sell watermelons

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Here’s Dan Rather’s watermelon comment about President Obama. I don’t think Dan was being racist, but it is interesting that when he thinks of a black guy, watermelon pops up. Then again, everyone does it at some point. It’s funny. “Holy mack’el!”

Robin is off to Guatemala next week – rest in peace — UPDATE — Robin’s new charity website

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Steve Langford reported that Lady Quivers embarks on her United Nations peacekeeping mission in Guatemala this weekend. “Nice knowing you!” Howard exclaimed. Robin is going on an eight day tour. But she won’t be with living amongst the dregs of society. Steve revealed Robin will be staying at upscale hotels. “I guess you don’t care about me,” says [...]

Eric the Midget is “hit or miss” – he doesn’t have claws

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Eric the Midget called up after a month hiatus. Not self-imposed, Howard just didn’t pick up on him. So the little guy was pissed about that. “A lot of times it’s hit or miss with you,” Howard told Eric, “The problem is I don’t know if you are going to be good or bad. I get gun [...]

Howard’s mom doesn’t mix comedy with cooking – she’s stuck in his head

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Mama Stern loves to watch cooking shows, but not when they try to be entertaining and funny. “They should not mix humor and food,” says Howard in his mother’s voice, “A cooking show is supposed to be learning how to cook, and I’m not learning anything.” So this makes Howard uncomfortable. He can’t watch cooking shows without [...]

Crazy jogging prank – oh those kooky Germans

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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So awesome! These crafty Germans dug a big hole in the middle of a jogging trail, filled it with water, covered it with leaves, and caught all the chaos on tape. The bike riders at the end are the best. Too bad you can’t see the unsuspecting victims kicking the shit out of the pranksters off [...]

Baba Booey is a “pretentious” TV producer – Sam Simon isn’t a comedy writer

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Gary got slammed for his “TV terms” again. “The point is pretentious people like you are trying to make the business more complicated,” Howard told faux- television producer Gary. Howard read an email from Sam Simon saying he’s never heard of the term “dark.” Gary thought Sam was just trying to be funny, calling him an “aspiring comedy [...]

Auto-tune doesn’t help Howard sing – Scott the Engineer fucks up again

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Howard fired up the auto-tuner today. It didn’t work. Howard still sounded like shit. “There’s no effect on here, Scott you fucker!” Howard yelled, “Scott just wasted thousands of dollars!” Howard tried singing “Purple Rain” with auto-tune, but he sounded as horrible as ever, no difference. “We set it to the setting that were recommended for that effect,” [...]

Horrible “Brat Pack” at the Oscars – tribute to John Hughes

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Here’s the “Brat Pack’s” Oscars tribute to the late director John Hughes. It’s rough. Judd Nelson looks like a derelict. Molly Ringwald now plays left tackle for the Steelers. And Macaulay Culkin’s face hasn’t aged in 20 years. “The whole Brat pack was depressing,” said Howard.

“Iron Man 2″ – new official trailer

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Iron Man 2 looks bad ass. In this trailer, you get a good look at Don Cheadle as War Machine. So fucking cool! And Scarlett Johansson is smoking hot in that skin tight leather outfit. Hey now!

Author Archives | Gerald "Gerry" Pugliese

Obama rocks out the auto-tune – steals Howard’s bit

Diceman hates George Costanza – Gary fucks up the headphones

JD flies to Los Angeles to bang Ashely Dupre – TMZ wants in — UPDATE — JD is just a friend

Hillbillies terrorized Howard in Hartford – Howard wants to be Chuck Zito

Everyone steals from Howard – Jay Leno is a “fucking crook”

Robin sexes it up – she wants to bang Howard

Britain is shipping 42 million condoms to South Africa, for the World Cup

Jamie Jungers wins the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant!”

Jamiee Grubbs was “laxed” on condoms with Tiger – his penis isn’t that big

Loredana Jolie says Tiger fucks better than Michael Jordon – Tiger wants his asshole licked

Tiger makes Jamie Jungers fly coach – she’s a hot “little coffee cup”

“Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” – Jamiee Grubbs, Loredana Jolie, Jamie Jungers, bare all

Howard sounds ready to retire – “I think I’m done!”

Gay pornstar chokes and dies after police taser – it’s all caught on tape

No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it

Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help – major media backlash against Howard

Oscars cut Tiger Woods jokes – it was “too rude”

Jesse Ventura wants more gays in the military

Howard manipulated “Private Parts” to make women like him

Maniac chef sells breast milk cheese – quick, call the authorities!

“Joke Hunt” hijacks Howard 100 – Jackie wants back on the show

Dan Rather says Obama couldn’t sell watermelons

Robin is off to Guatemala next week – rest in peace — UPDATE — Robin’s new charity website

Eric the Midget is “hit or miss” – he doesn’t have claws

Howard’s mom doesn’t mix comedy with cooking – she’s stuck in his head

Crazy jogging prank – oh those kooky Germans

Baba Booey is a “pretentious” TV producer – Sam Simon isn’t a comedy writer

Auto-tune doesn’t help Howard sing – Scott the Engineer fucks up again

Horrible “Brat Pack” at the Oscars – tribute to John Hughes

“Iron Man 2″ – new official trailer

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