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Howard says Artie is doing “real good” – he’s sober now
Great news! Our Baby Gorilla is doing better. Howard talked to Artie a couple days ago. “He sounded real good,” Howard explained, “It was ‘up’ Artie I spoke to.” That’s an improvement from last time, when Robin said, “It sounded like he wanted to go to me.” But Howard revealed, “He’s been sober for fifty-four days, going to [...]
Continue reading...Artie sighting in Seattle – news travels slowly
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Ha, gotcha with the title! Sorry about that. Artie’s still missing in action. But reporter Mary Anderson didn’t get the message. “You’re an idiot!” She writes for The News Tribune in Seattle, Washington. And according to her, Artie appeared live last night at the local Paramount Theatre. But it’s not even listed on the Paramount’s calendar of [...]
Continue reading...Howard says Artie is mentally ill – that’s the fucking update
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Prompted by emails bashing him for not giving an “update” on Artie, Howard cleared the air today. “What is there to update,” Howard said, “Artie’s cuckoo!” But Artie is a “touchy subject” for Howard. He told Robin he thinks about Artie every day, and it freaks him out every time. “Artie’s got a problem, a life and death [...]
Continue reading...Howard’s Artie update – “he is doing his very best”
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Some cunt called up demanding new information on Artie today, instead of relentless American Idol talk. After berating the woman, Howard admitted he doesn’t have an update. But Howard misses Artie, wishes him well, and wants him to recover. “I don’t have one clue what’s going on with Artie,” says Howard, “We don’t have a bit of information.” Not [...]
Continue reading...New “Futurama” is the best yet – Phil Lamarr says so
Friday, February 12, 2010
Tough shit! You’ll have to keep waiting. The new Futuramas aren’t ready yet. Phil Lamarr, Artie’s former co-star on MADtv and voice of 36th-level bureaucrat Hermes Conrad, says voice recording began last fall and new Futurama episodes could start airing on Comedy Central as soon as the Summer or Fall of this year. “They’re really, really funny,” [...]
Continue reading...Howard is depressed about the Jets loss – Gary doesn’t sit in his stupid stools
Monday, January 25, 2010
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“I could not believe how important this game was to me,” Howard said about the Jets game, “I was screaming and yelling!” All season Howard didn’t give a shit about football, but after last week’s big win, he latched on the Jets. But the Jets choked yesterday. “The Jets are losers. I was depressed,” says Howard, “I was [...]
Continue reading...“Jack and Coke” premieres on Comedy Central Saturday Night
Friday, January 22, 2010
Artie’s standup DVD “Jack and Coke” makes its television debut on Comedy Central this Saturday at 10PM EST. It might seem like bad timing with Artie’s suicide attempt still very fresh in our minds, but Comedy Central spokesman Steve Albani insists it isn’t: “The news about Artie is tragic, but we spoke to his camp and are [...]
Continue reading...“Guess Who’s the Jew?” returns – “Jews in the ground”
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
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Kurt Waldheim, Jr. marched in the long-awaited revival of “Guess Who’s The Jew?” with a song, parodying “Pants on the Ground.” “Jews in the ground, in a big, big mound,” sang the resident Stern Show Nazi. “You are a leading expert on Jews,” Howard reminded everyone. “Right, but I am not a Nazi,” replied Heir Waldheim, “I never [...]
Continue reading...Howard calls Artie – he didn’t know what to say
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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Howard said he called our Artie this weekend and Artie is in bad shape. Howard didn’t say for sure, but it sounded like Artie is at some place, so it was hard to get a hold of him. “I kept trying to get through to him,” said Howard, “It was not the easiest thing in the world.” [...]
Continue reading...No return for Jackie – “he respects” Artie too much
Thursday, January 14, 2010
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Jackie will not accept any invitation to sit in on the show while Artie’s gone, even if it’s just for a few days. The Joke Man dropped this “bombshell” on Joke Hunt. “This decision is out of respect to Artie,” Lisa G. reports, “If he came on the show the perception would inevitably be that he wants [...]
Continue reading...Chaunce Hayden is a cunt – says Howard is not Artie’s “bro”
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
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“Love me daddy!” That’s what ex-Stern Show friend and head macher at Steppin’ Out “magazine”, a rag they pass out in Manhattan, is really trying to say. Chaunce used to be a regular guest on the show, but one day he was unceremoniously booted. Bye bitch! Well now, the creep with the back alley hair plugs is [...]
Continue reading...Howard doesn’t know what to say to Artie – so he’ll just complain
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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“Have you spoken to Artie yet?” A caller asked. “No, I have not,” Howard replied, “In fact, I just got information on how to speak to Artie.” Howard hopes to talk with Artie sometime this week, saying, “I want to speak to him, and offer some…I don’t even know what I’m offering!” “Let him know you’re thinking about [...]
Continue reading...Howard knows the “maggot” who squealed about Artie
Monday, January 11, 2010
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Gary found out the name of the guy who tipped off TMZ about Artie’s suicide attempt. Howard said he is a well known person, with an important position at a company. The guy emailed TMZ under the name “Jane Doe,” but somehow did it using Gary’s email address, and when TMZ emailed him back, they copied his [...]
Continue reading...Artie really needs help – Robin had suicidal thoughts too
Monday, January 11, 2010
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Howard touched on Artie’s situation again. He admitted he’s even losing sleep about. “I woke up in the middle of the night and think about Artie,” Howard said, “It blows my mind. It’s too hard to comprehend.” Howard never knew Artie was in this much trouble, saying, “I sit next to the guy every day, I didn’t [...]
Continue reading...No drugs found in Artie’s apartment
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Here’s more news in the Artie case. Police did not report finding any illicit drugs in Artie’s apartment, only prescription drugs. Police document that Artie’s mom called 911, after finding him unconscious on the floor, bleeding. Artie was taken from his apartment in Hoboken to Jersey City Medical Center, where he was treated for self-inflicted stab wounds [...]
Continue reading...Artie released from the hospital – used a 13-inch knife
Friday, January 8, 2010
Our Artie is out of the hospital, says the Associated Press. He was released today. And more gory details are being leaked about Artie’s suicide attempt. Artie used a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife to inflict the nine stab wounds to his abdomen. Hey, at least he has good taste in cutlery! Howard talked about Artie’s situation [...]
Continue reading...Perez Hilton says Sirius XM will fire Artie – but Tim Sabean calls bullshit
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Perez Hilton posted a rumor that Sirius XM is getting ready to pink slip Artie. He claims Mel already told Howard and the company is waiting until Artie is in stable condition to axe him. Steve Langford was all over the rumor in a Howard 100 News break, with Tim Sabean shooting it down. “It is absolutely false,” [...]
Continue reading...Artie tries to kill himself – our Artie is still the greatest
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wow, heavy shit man. Artie tried to kill himself. “I’m sad about it. I’m just all over the place emotionally about the whole thing,” Howard said. On Saturday, Arite’s mom went over to drop off food—surprise, surprise—and found him. She called 911 and Artie was rushed to the hospital. “I’m pissed off that the story got out there,” [...]
Continue reading...The “skinny” on Artie – it’s a family matter
Monday, January 4, 2010
Howard is staying quiet on the Artie debacle. Artie’s family is keeping it private. “I’m going to honor that, and respect that,” Howard revealed. But Howard was pissed at all the Artie bashing, especially on Stern “Fan” Network. “Artie has given the show tremendous moments of great comedy,” Howard said, “He is a good man.” And Howard [...]
Continue reading...Artie rushed to the hospital – all details hush-hush
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Oh fuck, here we go again! Artie has been rushed to the hospital in New Jersey, for un-divulged reasons. No official word why, but a rep told TMZ.com, “I can confirm that Artie is in the hospital. Artie has chosen to keep all information on this matter between him and his doctor. There will be no [...]
Continue reading...Adolf Stern calls a meeting – Artie was bullshitting us
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Baby Gorilla’s whereabouts are a mystery, so mein fuhrer Stern held an emergency meeting in an underground bunker, and berated the staff, including Kurt Waldheim, Jr., after revealing Artie is back on drugs, they found him, “We followed the scent of heroin and empty cupcake wrappers.” Fiyah! Via Save Baby Gorilla.
Continue reading...Quick bullets: Howard at the Knicks game. Sirius XM broadcasting 25 Bowl Games. Richard Christy talks metal.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
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Wanh! The show is on vacation. Don’t be a bitch. There’s still a shit load of Stern news out there. Howard and Beth were at the Knicks-Clippers game last Friday night. Beth looks pissed off, and Howard has his hands up and his head turned like he can’t watch. But then again, they were at a [...]
Continue reading...Artie bails on his Comix show – Jim Florentine replaces him
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Uh oh, the shit’s hitting the fan! Baby Gorilla canceled his set at Comix comedy club on Thursday. Jim Florentine will take over the spot. So does this mean Artie is really fucked up? And finally getting some real help? Who knows! But if he needs help, hopefully he’s getting it, or he could just be canceling the [...]
Continue reading...Quick bullets: Snoop could pimp Beth for $10,000. Sal and Richard are prank call kings. Howard loves the new Bachelor.
Monday, December 14, 2009
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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Snoop told Howard he quit the pimp game, but he could make a mint off Beth. He’d put her out for $7,500 to $10,000 a night. “She’s a blue chipper,” said Snoop, “Strictly hotel suites and businessmen.” The Princess and the Frog topped [...]
Continue reading...Management tells Artie to stay home – he might be in trouble — UPDATE –
Monday, December 14, 2009
No Artie today, and maybe not for the whole week. Management told Artie to stay home and get better. Apparently he looked like shit last week. So Howard made his official statement. “Here’s what I want to say. I thought it through,” said Howard, “I don’t know what to say.” UPDATE: Robin doesn’t think Artie is [...]
Continue reading...Everyone is getting fat – lots of “sacred cows” around — UPDATE –
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A guy called up and said he noticed on Howard TV everyone on the show is getting fat. Howard agreed. Artie, J.D., Richard, Jason, Brian Fallon, Jon Hein, and even Robin’s enema apprentice Tim Sabean is gaining weight. Tim admits he put on 10 pounds. He ate a lot on Thanksgiving. That’s why his hot pants are [...]
Continue reading...Artie misses work again – Howard is staying tight-lipped
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Artie is out today, but Howard doesn’t want to talk about it. “Artie does what he has to do,” he said, “I don’t want to explain it.” Howard wasn’t trying to be cryptic. Artie can talk about it when he gets back, but for now, Howard left it at, “I just love Artie to death. [...]
Continue reading...Howard explodes about re-signing – “Its time to leave!”
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
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Reporters are running wild about Howard re-signing with Sirius XM. He hasn’t yet, and his contract expires in a year, so speculation is everywhere. “I don’t even know if I’m going to re-sign here, I’ve been reading weird shit,” Howard said, “I need to get out of this whole thing, this whole thing is a mess.” Most [...]
Continue reading...Return of the Artie – taking addictive meds to get right
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Baby Gorilla makes his triumphant return today, again. Artie was down and out with anxiety again. All his demons are getting to him. “All the stuff I’ve done drugs to suppress is now killing me,” he said, “Yesterday I was curled up in the fetal position.” Plus his leg was shaking uncontrollably. Artie’s girlfriend had to sit [...]
Continue reading...Baby Gorilla down and out – takes another sick day
Monday, December 7, 2009
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It starts again. No Artie today. He’s out sick. All Gary got was a text message saying, “Gar, can’t make it into work today, sorry.” Let the heroin rumors swirl!
Continue reading...
- Jabba the Rush in serious condition – "rushed" to the hospital
- Artie tries to kill himself - our Artie is still the greatest
- Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help - major media backlash against Howard
- Big fatso Rush Limbaugh's shitty TV feed
- Howard rips Stern Fan Network, again
- Management tells Artie to stay home - he might be in trouble -- UPDATE --
- Stern Show Blog is nearing 1,000 Twitter followers
- The Who stink up the Super Bowl - halftime show from hell
- Artie's court date set for September 30th
- The "skinny" on Artie - it's a family matter
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- Gerald "Gerry" Pugliese: Ha! Actually its good practice. I have to remember...
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Thursday, March 4, 2010
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