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JD flies to Los Angeles to bang Ashely Dupre – TMZ wants in — UPDATE — JD is just a friend

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Poor JD got bombarded today. The opening salvo made fun of his bad—err, new—haircut. He looks like Louis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds. “The thing was you had good hair and you cut it all off,” Howard told JD, “I don’t get you! JD replied with something that sounded like, “It’s not that horrible. I’ve had [...]

No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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With Artie gone, a lot of fans want Jackie the Jokeman to jump into his grave—err, chair. But it’s not happening anytime soon. “I am in no way ready to move on and just put Jackie in the chair,” said Howard. Robin and Fred are the most adamant about Jackie not returning to the show. “Robin for three years [...]

Eric the Midget is “hit or miss” – he doesn’t have claws

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Eric the Midget called up after a month hiatus. Not self-imposed, Howard just didn’t pick up on him. So the little guy was pissed about that. “A lot of times it’s hit or miss with you,” Howard told Eric, “The problem is I don’t know if you are going to be good or bad. I get gun [...]

JD is taking Ashley Dupre to “Banana Shpeel” – he puts condoms on his feet

Thursday, March 4, 2010

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JD will not be directing Ashley Dupre’s music video. Instead, he’s taking the $5,000 and treating her to dinner and a nice hotel. She should be used to that! “I believe we have chosen to go out next week in the city,” says JD, “I think New York.” Where else, Lilliput? Howard was impressed. “I thought you were a [...]

Abe “The Heartless” wins “cockaoke” – this is “American Cockoake Idol”

Thursday, March 4, 2010

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“Cockoake” returned to the Stern Show today. Five unknown bands competed for a chance to have their music played on the show and win $5,000. And Sal got a bunch of guys to breathe on his cock. Howard called all five bands into the studio, none of them knowing the price of fame involved singing into Sal’s [...]

Benjy’s working hard – he’s not too sweaty

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

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Howard gave Benjy a rare compliment today. “You’re doing a good job lately,” Howard told Benjy, “I don’t know why I said that.” Benjy didn’t even get out a thank you. “Little chubby guy with a hat, sits there sweating,” joked Howard, “Nervous everyday that I am going to fire him.” Fred said he’s not that sweaty today. You can [...]

JD Polanski to “direct” Ashley Dupre’s “music” video

Monday, March 1, 2010

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No man with $5,000 to spend has ever worked this hard to fuck a hooker—ever! Now the master plan is to direct a music video for her shitty music. “I believe we’ve agreed to do a music video,” says JD. But JD is still working on a “concept.” Let the ball busting commence! “Okay, in this scene you look [...]

Scott the Engineer is calm and bald like Buddha – no more ranting

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

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On her show, Tracy ripped Scott the Engineer for being a lazy fuck and not a team player. But when Scott called in to defend himself, he stayed calm and didn’t explode. Howard was impressed. Scott’s not exactly known for keeping his cool. “Get out of my face!” “How did you remain so calm during that?” Howard asked [...]

JD gets $5,000 to take Ashley Dupre out – “I don’t know!”

Monday, February 22, 2010

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Howard let the crew go to a screening of Shutter Island last week, so JD “wisely” took Ashley Dupre. Howard asked, “What was she wearing?” “Suit of armor!” Robin exclaimed. But JD replied, “I think like a sweater, her boots, and a pair of pants.” “Her boots.” Good thing, it’s pretty tacky to wear someone else’s boots on a [...]

Jackie wants to come back – yeah, that ain’t happening

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

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Joke Man dropped by today, spreading his message of good will. “Wahoo!” In the world of Howard Stern, Jackie unloaded a bombshell. He wants back on the show–sort of. “You give me the deal I walked away from, I’ll start tomorrow,” Jackie told Howard. Howard replied, “You walked away at the wrong time,” and, “I saw you committing [...]

Ronnie’s beard is rusting – he dyes it with “Agent Orange”

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

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Ronnie’s beard is getting freaky. He’s gone berserk with the Just for Mund–err, Just for Men. “It’s very odd,” says Robin, “Its red in the middle and gray in the edges.” Howard said Ronnie’s rusting. “Looks like he was bobbing for apples in tomato soup,” joked Fred, “It looks disturbing.” So Ronnie rushed into the studio. Ha! An old man [...]

No Ashley Dupre pussy for JD – mumble, mumble, mumble

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

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Looks like JD’s nerd love with ex-hooker Ashley Dupre has died on the vine. She’s not calling or texting him back. “I check it for everyone else,” Howard said as Ashley, “When you call I don’t check my voicemail.” Fred busted JD’s balls, saying that JD isn’t getting “LOL” or “LMAO” from Ashley. She’s sending him “GTFA,” or [...]

Howard says Super Bowl parties are stupid – so are Gary’s stools

Thursday, February 4, 2010

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Howard doesn’t like Super Bowl parties, especially if Fred is throwing it. “I don’t want to sit there with you, it’s scary,” barked Howard, “It can’t be fun.” Howard’s being gay about this. Go wash your pussy! “I don’t like sitting there with a bunch of guys watching the broadcast,” says Howard. Howard’s bitch Ralph agreed. Shocking! Both fags don’t [...]

Benjy controls kooky Sarah – he wants to “merge” with her

Thursday, February 4, 2010

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Benjy is a blotchy puppet master. He tries to control his girlfriend Sarah. It’s creepy. Howard played clips of Sarah getting frustrated with Benjy when she was trying to talk to Shuli. “I can’t even talk,” barked Sarah, “I scream at him about it, but that’s the way it is.” Howard thinks this is bizarre behavior. Benjy blathered, “You [...]

Benjy says “three-fifths of a person” isn’t in the constitution

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

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“Arguing with Benjy, this is a guy who has night terrors,” barked Howard, “He dresses like a cat burglar.” Howard was referring to the shmata on Benjy’s head. “I want to look like a fat skier,” Fred’s Benjy joked. Benjy started arguing with Howard over the Scott DePace corporate money thing; somehow that matriculated into insisting blacks being [...]

Scott DePace has mental problems – he’s Forrest Gump

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

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Howard slammed Scott DePace for his opinion about Gary going to Jon Hein’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. “You are an odd ball man,” says Howard, “I’m listening to this thing and I’m going who am I working with?” Scott didn’t understand why “Gadget Gary” would go to the party instead of the CES tech show. Scott says Gary [...]

Joan Rivers talks to dead people too – no, she’s talking to the walls

Thursday, January 28, 2010

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Leather face—err, Joan Rivers—has her own ghost friends. Joan was on Celebrity Ghost Stories too. Joan’s ghost is a descendant of J.P. Morgan named “Mrs. Spencer” living in her apartment. “You realize the reality of this,” Howard said, “Joan is at home talking to the walls.” So Fred, as Joan, blurted out, “I’m having dinner with a vase [...]

Princess Leia sees dead people – Jackie is haunting the show — UPDATE — Beth turns down “ghost stories”

Thursday, January 28, 2010

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Howard finally played clips of Princess Leia, a.k.a. Carrie Fisher, on Celebrity Ghost Stories today. “This is the weakest premise ever,” Howard insisted, “How many celebrities are you going to get to tell their ghost stories?” Apparently a fuck load! Future episodes will feature Sammy Hagar, Joan Rivers, and Jeff Ross. How the mighty have fallen. But Carrie Fisher [...]

Quick bullets: Fred’s martian name is “Miep Gies.” Sex robots are coming. Medicated Pete lied about kissing.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Some dumb ass ran up a bill of more than $21,000 at New York City’s Hustler Club, but doesn’t remember a thing, so he’s refusing to pay it. Howard joked, “I’m trying to get out of my mortgage payment by saying, I [...]

Robin’s cat drops dead – Howard could never put Fred down

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

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Robin lost a member of the clan over break. She had to put her cat to sleep, the sick one on life support. “Kelly just died over the holiday,” she said, which screwed up Lady Quivers’s holiday plans. Wanh! Howard asked, “Did you have a burial?” Fred started playing “Taps” in the background. “I got to go pick [...]

Quick bullets: It’s really called Stern “Fag” Network. Ashley Dupre bails again. Gary spreads for “GameRoom Magazine.”

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! An emailer wrote in calling people on Stern “Fan” Network “zit-faced virgins” and saying, “These people are such nothings, they’re even jealous of J.D.” But best of all, he referred to Stern Fan Network as “Stern Fag Network.” Nice! Gary revealed celebrity super [...]

History of Howard Stern – “Quivers a Life,” Jackie “shits” in the Stanley Cup, Robin loves “third input” sex, Fred’s wife sucks face

Thursday, December 31, 2009

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“I didn’t know how severely out of it Robin was,” said Howard after reading Robin’s masterpiece Quivers a Life, “Boy you’re wacky. Wacky is putting it lightly.” Howard couldn’t believe the delusions and distortions Robin wrote about. He never knew she’d go home and stomp on pictures of his face. “Anybody she writes about, you go back [...]

History of Howard Stern – Gary Puppet’s abduction, Fred’s bachelor party, the Cleveland Funeral, “Old Black O.J.”

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

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“We have been sabotaged by radio station MMS. It’s radio D-Day,” barked General Howard, “By the powers invested in me by the FCC, I now declare this war!” That tirade during the Cleveland funeral when the engineer at a rival radio station clipped the wires to Howard’s broadcast feed. And don’t forget “Old Black O.J.” and the [...]

Quick bullets: Facebook sucks. Fred is going to Mars. Henry Hill gets arrested.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Some dude rigged his friend’s bed to Twitter every time he had sex. “Imagine someone invented a machine that can tell how much sex you’re having,” Howard said, “What a colossal waste of time!” Howard listened to clips of Jared Leto’s band Thirty [...]

Quick bullets: Imus taking chess lessons. Avatar is “convoluted.” Fans come down hard on Beth.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Ass Napkin Ed called up and said he read on the computer that Imus is now taking chess lessons too. “He gets into everything I’m into,” Howard remarked. Fred used to work at a top 40 station named “Wacky 103.” Radio fail! Howard ran [...]

Robin’s charity event is a hit – but no painting for Howard

Thursday, November 19, 2009

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Howard didn’t go to Robin’s benefit for The Girl Fund, which helps young women in shitty countries. Robin is trying to inform people about the fund. “You mean all the imbeciles that work here,” Howard asked. Beth went to the event, so did Fred, Lisa G., and Mel, but no Howard. Robin was kind of disappointed. “I thought [...]

Tuesday’s show overload! Howard goes off every morning. Gary doesn’t really “read” books. Fred, Benjy, and Artie love camel toe.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

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A lot of stuff happens on the Stern Show. It’s hard to cover it all! So every day SternShowBlog will sum up all the cool stuff I couldn’t get to from the previous day’s show. Here goes! Howard gets pissed at something every morning. So right before he says “good morning, happy to be here” he [...]

Kathy Griffin in studio – she has a “crush” on Fred and a child molester brother

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

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Comedian Kathy Griffin stopped by and dropped a bomb on everyone. In her new book, Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin, Kathy admits she has a “crush” on Fred. She wants him unpeeled banana and all, saying, “Fred is not the kind of guy you fuck for one night. You take him [...]

John Lennon the most important musician ever…

Monday, August 17, 2009

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Howard called John Lennon the greatest, putting him slightly above fellow Beetle Paul McCartney, but Howard couldn’t pick the best John Lennon song. He was torn between “Mother”, “Jealous Guy” and “Norwegian Wood.” Fred was quicker to answer. He likes “Imagine.” But Howard thinks Imagine is overrated. Out of these four, I’m with Fred. Imagine is [...]

Howard and Imus in the same studio…

Friday, July 10, 2009

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Here’s Howard back in his NBC days and—much to his chagrin —in this clip, fellow WNBC “superstar” Don Imus pays him a visit. It’s amazing, even back then Imus was barely coherent. Oh, and thank goodness Howard changed his look—freaky. Wow, that studio was a dump and you can see Howard is totally forcing himself to [...]

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JD flies to Los Angeles to bang Ashely Dupre – TMZ wants in — UPDATE — JD is just a friend

No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it

Eric the Midget is “hit or miss” – he doesn’t have claws

JD is taking Ashley Dupre to “Banana Shpeel” – he puts condoms on his feet

Abe “The Heartless” wins “cockaoke” – this is “American Cockoake Idol”

Benjy’s working hard – he’s not too sweaty

JD Polanski to “direct” Ashley Dupre’s “music” video

Scott the Engineer is calm and bald like Buddha – no more ranting

JD gets $5,000 to take Ashley Dupre out – “I don’t know!”

Jackie wants to come back – yeah, that ain’t happening

Ronnie’s beard is rusting – he dyes it with “Agent Orange”

No Ashley Dupre pussy for JD – mumble, mumble, mumble

Howard says Super Bowl parties are stupid – so are Gary’s stools

Benjy controls kooky Sarah – he wants to “merge” with her

Benjy says “three-fifths of a person” isn’t in the constitution

Scott DePace has mental problems – he’s Forrest Gump

Joan Rivers talks to dead people too – no, she’s talking to the walls

Princess Leia sees dead people – Jackie is haunting the show — UPDATE — Beth turns down “ghost stories”

Quick bullets: Fred’s martian name is “Miep Gies.” Sex robots are coming. Medicated Pete lied about kissing.

Robin’s cat drops dead – Howard could never put Fred down

Quick bullets: It’s really called Stern “Fag” Network. Ashley Dupre bails again. Gary spreads for “GameRoom Magazine.”

History of Howard Stern – “Quivers a Life,” Jackie “shits” in the Stanley Cup, Robin loves “third input” sex, Fred’s wife sucks face

History of Howard Stern – Gary Puppet’s abduction, Fred’s bachelor party, the Cleveland Funeral, “Old Black O.J.”

Quick bullets: Facebook sucks. Fred is going to Mars. Henry Hill gets arrested.

Quick bullets: Imus taking chess lessons. Avatar is “convoluted.” Fans come down hard on Beth.

Robin’s charity event is a hit – but no painting for Howard

Tuesday’s show overload! Howard goes off every morning. Gary doesn’t really “read” books. Fred, Benjy, and Artie love camel toe.

Kathy Griffin in studio – she has a “crush” on Fred and a child molester brother

John Lennon the most important musician ever…

Howard and Imus in the same studio…

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