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Christians told to boycott Glenn Beck – Howard catches shrapnel too
Whacko Washington, D.C. evangelical “leader” Jim Wallis is calling upon Christians to stop watching morning zookeeper Glenn Beck. Because Glenn “McCarthy” Beck has urged religious nuts to leave the parish if they find terms like “social justice” in their church’s rhetoric. Glenn claims that’s a code word for Communism and Nazism. Wow! You usually have to pay [...]
Continue reading...Obama rocks out the auto-tune – steals Howard’s bit
Friday, March 12, 2010
Ha! Looks like President Obama is trying out the auto-tune too. And he’s having just about the same amount of “success” with it too.
Continue reading...Diceman hates George Costanza – Gary fucks up the headphones
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Dice was in studio today. It was classic Dice, all sorts of crazy, loud, and obnoxious. Awesome! But the interview didn’t get too far before Howard lost it on Gary, Howard didn’t like how Dice sounded through the microphone. “This goes on with every guest!” Howard roared. Howard wants action. Gary has to crack the whip. He’s got [...]
Continue reading...JD flies to Los Angeles to bang Ashely Dupre – TMZ wants in — UPDATE — JD is just a friend
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Poor JD got bombarded today. The opening salvo made fun of his bad—err, new—haircut. He looks like Louis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds. “The thing was you had good hair and you cut it all off,” Howard told JD, “I don’t get you! JD replied with something that sounded like, “It’s not that horrible. I’ve had [...]
Continue reading...Hillbillies terrorized Howard in Hartford – Howard wants to be Chuck Zito
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Working in Hartford, Connecticut was no picnic for Howard, not only did the job suck, but he lived in a run down condo, next to a bunch of hicks. And Cletus didn’t like what Howard did on the radio, so they’d post signs all over Howard’s door. “Hey man, you have your free speech, but I can’t [...]
Continue reading...Everyone steals from Howard – Jay Leno is a “fucking crook”
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Howard got charged up about people stealing his bits again, like Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. “It’s very upsetting to me when someone lifts my game show ideas,” he said. Howard admitted today he talked to a lawyer about suing the show, but the guy told him it is “very difficult” to take action in [...]
Continue reading...Robin sexes it up – she wants to bang Howard
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Robin whored it up today. The studio was abuzz about her short skirt and hooker boots. “You’re a whole sexpot this morning,” says Howard, “Everyone is commenting on your look, and they like it.” Robin replied, “Well, it’s nice to be considered sexy.” Howard thinks Robin is just dolling herself up for him. They’re hanging out tonight. “I thought [...]
Continue reading...Howard sounds ready to retire – “I think I’m done!”
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Howard touched on his future again, but he didn’t give a definitive answer. “I really do believe I’m at the end of the road,” says Howard, “I think I’m done.” Howard is ready to stay home, sleep in, play chess, and stare at the wall all day. But Ralph doesn’t think so, telling Howard, “I think you’d like [...]
Continue reading...No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
With Artie gone, a lot of fans want Jackie the Jokeman to jump into his grave—err, chair. But it’s not happening anytime soon. “I am in no way ready to move on and just put Jackie in the chair,” said Howard. Robin and Fred are the most adamant about Jackie not returning to the show. “Robin for three years [...]
Continue reading...Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help – major media backlash against Howard
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Howard got slammed in the media for calling star of Precious Gabourey Sidibe a big fatso. “There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen,” Howard said yesterday, “Everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie.” Howard played a bunch of news reports trashing him for his [...]
Continue reading...Jesse Ventura wants more gays in the military
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by today. Jesse is always a topnotch guest. He’s super interesting. Howard asked Jesse how he feels about gays in the military. For a big tough macho guy, Jesse is very liberal on it. “How dare us not allow gay people to serve their country,” he told Howard, “We are not the ‘Hetero [...]
Continue reading...Howard manipulated “Private Parts” to make women like him
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
When talking to Jesse Ventura about conspiracy theories today, Howard revealed a dirty little secret of his own. Howard and a team of writers made a concerted effort to make Private Parts the movie appealing to women. “Men listen to you. Women think you’re disgusting. How can we take this movie and create some sort of arc [...]
Continue reading...Maniac chef sells breast milk cheese – quick, call the authorities!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A chef at restaurant Klee Brasserie in New York City needs to be shot. McCreepy is offering cheese made out of his wife’s breast milk. “Thank you for telling me the name, I won’t be going there,” Robin told Howard. Howard thought it was disgusting—yes, it is—but the restaurant claims their phone is ringing off the hook. “I [...]
Continue reading...“Joke Hunt” hijacks Howard 100 – Jackie wants back on the show
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
After the show yesterday, Howard caught a listen to Jackie’s new plug for Joke Hunt. It pissed Howard off. The plug is convoluted and too long. “The promo was just kind of hijacking the airway,” Howard barked, “Get this off! I want this off!” Maybe all this is an elaborate plan for Jackie to get back on the [...]
Continue reading...Robin is off to Guatemala next week – rest in peace — UPDATE — Robin’s new charity website
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Steve Langford reported that Lady Quivers embarks on her United Nations peacekeeping mission in Guatemala this weekend. “Nice knowing you!” Howard exclaimed. Robin is going on an eight day tour. But she won’t be with living amongst the dregs of society. Steve revealed Robin will be staying at upscale hotels. “I guess you don’t care about me,” says [...]
Continue reading...Eric the Midget is “hit or miss” – he doesn’t have claws
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Eric the Midget called up after a month hiatus. Not self-imposed, Howard just didn’t pick up on him. So the little guy was pissed about that. “A lot of times it’s hit or miss with you,” Howard told Eric, “The problem is I don’t know if you are going to be good or bad. I get gun [...]
Continue reading...Howard’s mom doesn’t mix comedy with cooking – she’s stuck in his head
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Mama Stern loves to watch cooking shows, but not when they try to be entertaining and funny. “They should not mix humor and food,” says Howard in his mother’s voice, “A cooking show is supposed to be learning how to cook, and I’m not learning anything.” So this makes Howard uncomfortable. He can’t watch cooking shows without [...]
Continue reading...Baba Booey is a “pretentious” TV producer – Sam Simon isn’t a comedy writer
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Gary got slammed for his “TV terms” again. “The point is pretentious people like you are trying to make the business more complicated,” Howard told faux- television producer Gary. Howard read an email from Sam Simon saying he’s never heard of the term “dark.” Gary thought Sam was just trying to be funny, calling him an “aspiring comedy [...]
Continue reading...Auto-tune doesn’t help Howard sing – Scott the Engineer fucks up again
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Howard fired up the auto-tuner today. It didn’t work. Howard still sounded like shit. “There’s no effect on here, Scott you fucker!” Howard yelled, “Scott just wasted thousands of dollars!” Howard tried singing “Purple Rain” with auto-tune, but he sounded as horrible as ever, no difference. “We set it to the setting that were recommended for that effect,” [...]
Continue reading...Howard calls Sirius XM his “greatest chapter” – “mission accomplished”
Monday, March 8, 2010
Howard proclaimed victory today, saying, “mission accomplished!” His tenure with Sirius XM is a success. Sirius XM had 600,000 subscribers when Howard signed, and after four years and a merger with XM, Howard read that Sirius XM now has 19 million subscribers. Howard stated, “Everywhere we went we delivered!” Preach on, brother Howard! When Howard decided to make his [...]
Continue reading...Tommy James rocks out in studio – likes shooting his pool
Monday, March 8, 2010
Music legend Tommy James, from Tommy James & The Shondells, dropped by today. Tommy sounded really good. Howard said he used to see Tommy on television as a kid. “I remember watching you on TV and thinking this guy must get tons of pussy,” Howard told Tommy,” It’s insane! Tommy dodged the question. He had some “good [...]
Continue reading...Baba Booey still thinks he’s a TV producer – “We’re going dark boss’th!”
Monday, March 8, 2010
Gary got ripped for using television terms for radio again, like going “dark” when the show is away. But radio doesn’t go dark. “On radio you say we go on vacation,” barked Howard, “We don’t go dark!” But Gary replied, “I’ll pull you ten fucking emails, can you please tells us when you’re dark.” Robin told Howard, Gary “speaks [...]
Continue reading...King of All Blacks’ baby has a black penis – but the kid’s got “good hair”
Monday, March 8, 2010
King of All Blacks welcomed a son this weekend. The same kid a doctor magically changed from a girl to a boy in the womb. But to King’s chagrin, the boy was born with an abnormally black cock. “It is black, like darker than me,” King said, “But he’s light skinned.” King hopes his skin color evens out. [...]
Continue reading...Scott DePace’s asshole is for sale – that pussy costs $1 billion
Monday, March 8, 2010
On Thursday, resident bald republican Scott DePace admitted he’d take a cock up the ass for $1 billion. “You give me a billion and you could fuck me in the ass,” Scott told Gary on The Wrap-up Show. Robin joked that Scott do it for $250,000. But Scott insisted it has to be a billion, nothing less. “A [...]
Continue reading...Howard’s mom is the meditation police – it makes him mental
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Howard’s mother keeps strict tabs on his meditation. “My mother’s biggest fear is I’ll stop meditating,” says Howard, “Her answer to everything is meditate.” According to his mom, if Howard gets sick it’s because he’s not meditating enough. Howard said, “If my mother just hears meditation, she starts yelling at me about meditation—and I meditate!” So he doesn’t even [...]
Continue reading...JD is taking Ashley Dupre to “Banana Shpeel” – he puts condoms on his feet
Thursday, March 4, 2010
JD will not be directing Ashley Dupre’s music video. Instead, he’s taking the $5,000 and treating her to dinner and a nice hotel. She should be used to that! “I believe we have chosen to go out next week in the city,” says JD, “I think New York.” Where else, Lilliput? Howard was impressed. “I thought you were a [...]
Continue reading...Abe “The Heartless” wins “cockaoke” – this is “American Cockoake Idol”
Thursday, March 4, 2010
“Cockoake” returned to the Stern Show today. Five unknown bands competed for a chance to have their music played on the show and win $5,000. And Sal got a bunch of guys to breathe on his cock. Howard called all five bands into the studio, none of them knowing the price of fame involved singing into Sal’s [...]
Continue reading...Sarah Palin does “standup” on Leno – she’s a fucking maniac
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Jon Stewart did a nice job ripping Sarah Palin’s “standup comedy” debut on The Tonight Show. Howard hates it too. “Ugh, I can’t take this,” he groaned, “She’s just a fucking maniac!”
Continue reading...Barbara Walters says Howard shouldn’t retire – she’s in “awe” of Howard
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Elder stateswoman Barbara Walters was in studio today, encouraging Howard to stay on the radio. But Howard wants to be done with it all. “I am happy doing nothing,” he told Barbara, “I don’t need this radio show.” Barbara replied, “It’s not a question of money, you just want to be retired totally.” Yup, Howard wants to stare at [...]
Continue reading...David Letterman has “pussy powers” – Howard is “fuck room” less
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Howard talked about a Vanity Fair article praising David Letterman’s ability to seduce chicks. Dave has serious mojo. “I was madly in love with him at the time,” a former intern told the magazine, “I would have married him. He was hilarious.” Howard was impressed. Who wouldn’t be! “Once you get around him [Dave], you got to fuck him,” [...]
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- Jabba the Rush in serious condition – "rushed" to the hospital
- Artie tries to kill himself - our Artie is still the greatest
- Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help - major media backlash against Howard
- Big fatso Rush Limbaugh's shitty TV feed
- Howard rips Stern Fan Network, again
- The Who stink up the Super Bowl - halftime show from hell
- Management tells Artie to stay home - he might be in trouble -- UPDATE --
- Stern Show Blog is nearing 1,000 Twitter followers
- Artie's court date set for September 30th
- The "skinny" on Artie - it's a family matter
- illneverusethis: God damn Ashley Dupre is hot as hell. I'd hit it ...
- Balloon Knot: Lena, you're completely forgetting that Howard has...
- Ronald: 'Fuck that, for $15,000 I want a girl’s tongue bur...
- Gerald "Gerry" Pugliese: Ha! Actually its good practice. I have to remember...
- IloveBlackWang: "Her association with Oprah Winfrey will be an ass...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
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