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Robin sexes it up – she wants to bang Howard
Robin whored it up today. The studio was abuzz about her short skirt and hooker boots. “You’re a whole sexpot this morning,” says Howard, “Everyone is commenting on your look, and they like it.” Robin replied, “Well, it’s nice to be considered sexy.” Howard thinks Robin is just dolling herself up for him. They’re hanging out tonight. “I thought [...]
Continue reading...Howard sounds ready to retire – “I think I’m done!”
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Howard touched on his future again, but he didn’t give a definitive answer. “I really do believe I’m at the end of the road,” says Howard, “I think I’m done.” Howard is ready to stay home, sleep in, play chess, and stare at the wall all day. But Ralph doesn’t think so, telling Howard, “I think you’d like [...]
Continue reading...No return for Jackie – Howard’s not ready for it
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
With Artie gone, a lot of fans want Jackie the Jokeman to jump into his grave—err, chair. But it’s not happening anytime soon. “I am in no way ready to move on and just put Jackie in the chair,” said Howard. Robin and Fred are the most adamant about Jackie not returning to the show. “Robin for three years [...]
Continue reading...Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help – major media backlash against Howard
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Howard got slammed in the media for calling star of Precious Gabourey Sidibe a big fatso. “There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen,” Howard said yesterday, “Everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie.” Howard played a bunch of news reports trashing him for his [...]
Continue reading...Maniac chef sells breast milk cheese – quick, call the authorities!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A chef at restaurant Klee Brasserie in New York City needs to be shot. McCreepy is offering cheese made out of his wife’s breast milk. “Thank you for telling me the name, I won’t be going there,” Robin told Howard. Howard thought it was disgusting—yes, it is—but the restaurant claims their phone is ringing off the hook. “I [...]
Continue reading...“Joke Hunt” hijacks Howard 100 – Jackie wants back on the show
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
After the show yesterday, Howard caught a listen to Jackie’s new plug for Joke Hunt. It pissed Howard off. The plug is convoluted and too long. “The promo was just kind of hijacking the airway,” Howard barked, “Get this off! I want this off!” Maybe all this is an elaborate plan for Jackie to get back on the [...]
Continue reading...Robin is off to Guatemala next week – rest in peace — UPDATE — Robin’s new charity website
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Steve Langford reported that Lady Quivers embarks on her United Nations peacekeeping mission in Guatemala this weekend. “Nice knowing you!” Howard exclaimed. Robin is going on an eight day tour. But she won’t be with living amongst the dregs of society. Steve revealed Robin will be staying at upscale hotels. “I guess you don’t care about me,” says [...]
Continue reading...Tim Sabean is an eating machine – Doug Goodstein rats him out
Monday, March 8, 2010
Tim’s diet defenses are breaking down. He and Doug Goodstein went down to Tampa Bay to visit Bubba, and Tim waged an eating apocalypse. “He’s going to balloon very quickly,” Doug said. Apparently Doug keyed into his BlackBerry all the food Tim ordered at dinner. Tim’s list is impressive: chicken nachos, fried zucchini chips, fennel crusted French fries, [...]
Continue reading...Baba Booey still thinks he’s a TV producer – “We’re going dark boss’th!”
Monday, March 8, 2010
Gary got ripped for using television terms for radio again, like going “dark” when the show is away. But radio doesn’t go dark. “On radio you say we go on vacation,” barked Howard, “We don’t go dark!” But Gary replied, “I’ll pull you ten fucking emails, can you please tells us when you’re dark.” Robin told Howard, Gary “speaks [...]
Continue reading...“Girl on Stern Photoshop Contest” – put Robin on the Sybian
Friday, March 5, 2010
Sara over at Girl On Stern is up to shenanigans. Sara’s up to no good and she wants your help. She’s holding a “Girl On Stern Photoshop Contest.” It’s simple, just Photoshop Lady Quivers mounting and riding the Sybian—best “artistic expression” wins! So head over to Girl On Stern for more details. The winner gets a brand new [...]
Continue reading...Abe “The Heartless” wins “cockaoke” – this is “American Cockoake Idol”
Thursday, March 4, 2010
“Cockoake” returned to the Stern Show today. Five unknown bands competed for a chance to have their music played on the show and win $5,000. And Sal got a bunch of guys to breathe on his cock. Howard called all five bands into the studio, none of them knowing the price of fame involved singing into Sal’s [...]
Continue reading...Howard says Artie is doing “real good” – he’s sober now
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Great news! Our Baby Gorilla is doing better. Howard talked to Artie a couple days ago. “He sounded real good,” Howard explained, “It was ‘up’ Artie I spoke to.” That’s an improvement from last time, when Robin said, “It sounded like he wanted to go to me.” But Howard revealed, “He’s been sober for fifty-four days, going to [...]
Continue reading...Howard loves trashing Jay – Jay would still take Howard as a guest
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Ragging on Jay Leno is Howard’s new favorite pastime—clearly. “I can sit here and bash Jay Leno day and night,” Howard barked. Howard can trash Jay because Howard’s bigger than Jay. He doesn’t need to suck up to Jay like all the hacks in showbiz. But despite the shit Howard gives him, Jay would take Howard as a [...]
Continue reading...Robin doesn’t check her email – her “box” is too full
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Lady Quivers is a bad email checker. It’s a two day delay with her. So Howard won’t send Robin anything. It pisses Gary off too. Robin uses AOL and every time Gary sends her something, it bounces back because her inbox is full. Gary said, “They give you so much room, how full can your box really be?” “Robin’s [...]
Continue reading...Miss Howard Stern is pissed at the Tiger Woods’ pageant
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Breaking her silence after slamming her head against the pavement in a brutal car accident, Miss Howard Stern Andrea called up and berated young Will. Howard played the call today. Andrea thinks the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” will strip her of her title. The word “miss” and it being associated with the show confuses her. “This is why [...]
Continue reading...Howard forgets Carly Simon told him it’s David Geffen — UPDATE —
Monday, March 1, 2010
A few years ago, Howard was all excited when Carly whispered to him the name of the person who “You’re So Vain” is about it. But it turns out it wasn’t a big deal to him after all. “You know I forgot,” says Howard, “I don’t give a shit.” On Friday, reports broke about Carly revealing the person [...]
Continue reading...“Intestinal tears” can’t stop Taryn Thomas – but her ass doesn’t “self lubricate”
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Taryn Thomas, who plays “Snooki” in Jersey Shore XXX, dropped by today to discuss the injury that nearly destroyed her ass, literally. “I hate to bring it up, because I know it’s a horrible memory for you,” says Howard, “But I think it’s important that women learn from this.” And Howard wanted Robin to pay close attention [...]
Continue reading...Howard goes from “shock jock” to gay “scarf jock”
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
That’s it. Howard might really be gay; belly shaving, man purse, and now scarves. A caller pointed out Howard’s latest “fashion” accessory today. “I’ve been wearing a scarf almost everyday, and it feels great,” Madame Howard announced. According to GQ magazine, scarves are all the rage. “I would like all workers here to wear scarves,” says Howard, “It [...]
Continue reading...Benicio Del Toro is “The Wolfman” – but no doggy style for Robin
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Star of The Wolfman Benicio Del Toro was in studio today, and despite being a man of hardly any words, he’s a really cool guest. Plus Lady Quivers wants to fuck his brains out. But Benicio isn’t banging Robin anytime soon. He dodged Howard’s offering her up. “Coolest girl on radio,” Benicio called Robin. Howard replied, “Cool, schmool, she’s [...]
Continue reading...John Mayer apologizes for saying “nigger” – in concert, fail
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Nut-less John Mayer apologizes–hand in hand with black people–for using the word “nigger” in his recent Playboy magazine interview at a concert in Nashville, Tennessee. “Oh, he is really full of himself,” Robin, our resident black, said, “I want to throw up!” But isn’t Tennessee the perfect place to say nigger? Don’t they put it on [...]
Continue reading...Robin needs to bang “The Wolfman” – he’ll eat her pussies
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Lady Quivers needs a good hard fucking. Howard wants her to date The Wolfman, Benicio Del Toro. He’ll do a number on Robin. The Wolfman is a freak. “He’s a little nutty, he’ll sleep at your feet, literally,” Howard said, “He’ll eat your cats.” Robin replied, “I’ll have to put him in a cage every night.” “Leave it to [...]
Continue reading...Jackie wants to come back – yeah, that ain’t happening
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Joke Man dropped by today, spreading his message of good will. “Wahoo!” In the world of Howard Stern, Jackie unloaded a bombshell. He wants back on the show–sort of. “You give me the deal I walked away from, I’ll start tomorrow,” Jackie told Howard. Howard replied, “You walked away at the wrong time,” and, “I saw you committing [...]
Continue reading...Ronnie’s beard is rusting – he dyes it with “Agent Orange”
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Ronnie’s beard is getting freaky. He’s gone berserk with the Just for Mund–err, Just for Men. “It’s very odd,” says Robin, “Its red in the middle and gray in the edges.” Howard said Ronnie’s rusting. “Looks like he was bobbing for apples in tomato soup,” joked Fred, “It looks disturbing.” So Ronnie rushed into the studio. Ha! An old man [...]
Continue reading...Howard says Super Bowl parties are stupid – so are Gary’s stools
Thursday, February 4, 2010
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Howard doesn’t like Super Bowl parties, especially if Fred is throwing it. “I don’t want to sit there with you, it’s scary,” barked Howard, “It can’t be fun.” Howard’s being gay about this. Go wash your pussy! “I don’t like sitting there with a bunch of guys watching the broadcast,” says Howard. Howard’s bitch Ralph agreed. Shocking! Both fags don’t [...]
Continue reading...Scott DePace has mental problems – he’s Forrest Gump
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
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Howard slammed Scott DePace for his opinion about Gary going to Jon Hein’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. “You are an odd ball man,” says Howard, “I’m listening to this thing and I’m going who am I working with?” Scott didn’t understand why “Gadget Gary” would go to the party instead of the CES tech show. Scott says Gary [...]
Continue reading...Joan Rivers talks to dead people too – no, she’s talking to the walls
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Leather face—err, Joan Rivers—has her own ghost friends. Joan was on Celebrity Ghost Stories too. Joan’s ghost is a descendant of J.P. Morgan named “Mrs. Spencer” living in her apartment. “You realize the reality of this,” Howard said, “Joan is at home talking to the walls.” So Fred, as Joan, blurted out, “I’m having dinner with a vase [...]
Continue reading...Princess Leia sees dead people – Jackie is haunting the show — UPDATE — Beth turns down “ghost stories”
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Howard finally played clips of Princess Leia, a.k.a. Carrie Fisher, on Celebrity Ghost Stories today. “This is the weakest premise ever,” Howard insisted, “How many celebrities are you going to get to tell their ghost stories?” Apparently a fuck load! Future episodes will feature Sammy Hagar, Joan Rivers, and Jeff Ross. How the mighty have fallen. But Carrie Fisher [...]
Continue reading...Jim Florentine is a changed man since Robin – no more “upper-deckers”
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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Howard has a bone to pick with Jim Florentine. “I was saying to Robin, in a way, the relationship that you two had, ruined you,” Howard told Jim, “You used to come in here and tell these disgusting stories of things you had done and now, because you went out with Robin it feels weird I [...]
Continue reading...“Shitter Gate” is on – someone left doodie on the floor
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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Robin told Howard someone took a shit on the floor in the guest bathroom; a tiny ball of feces. “Is it still around? Maybe we can do a DNA test,” asked Richard. “I would love to do a DNA test,” Howard insisted, “I would love to know who shit on the floor.” Too bad the turd had already [...]
Continue reading...Robin believes we’re all eternal – our “energy” lives on after we die
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
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Howard gave Richard Christy props about his take on ghosts. Yes, ghosts, not joking. “If I saw a ghost, I’d be so happy,” Howard retold what Richard said on The Wrap-up Show yesterday, “Because it would prove there’s life after death.” So Richard isn’t afraid of ghosts. He wants to meet a dead person. “I ain’t afraid of [...]
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- Jabba the Rush in serious condition – "rushed" to the hospital
- Artie tries to kill himself - our Artie is still the greatest
- Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help - major media backlash against Howard
- Big fatso Rush Limbaugh's shitty TV feed
- Howard rips Stern Fan Network, again
- Management tells Artie to stay home - he might be in trouble -- UPDATE --
- Stern Show Blog is nearing 1,000 Twitter followers
- The Who stink up the Super Bowl - halftime show from hell
- Artie's court date set for September 30th
- The "skinny" on Artie - it's a family matter
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Thursday, March 11, 2010
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