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Everyone steals from Howard – Jay Leno is a “fucking crook”

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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Howard got charged up about people stealing his bits again, like Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. “It’s very upsetting to me when someone lifts my game show ideas,” he said. Howard admitted today he talked to a lawyer about suing the show, but the guy told him it is “very difficult” to take action in [...]

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Britain is shipping 42 million condoms to South Africa, for the World Cup

Thursday, March 11, 2010

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To help stop the spread of HIV during the World Cup, Great Britain is sending 42 million condoms to South Africa. That’s $1.5 million worth of rubbers. Sounds like the World Cup of cock! In South Africa, it’s estimated that 5.7 million people have HIV. That’s one in every five adults, with 1,400 new cases of the [...]

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Jamie Jungers wins the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant!”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Jamie Jungers pulls it off, winning the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.” To go with her crown, sash, and golf inspired bouquet, Jamie takes home $75,000 courtesy of Ashley Madison, a black diamond ring via Steven Singer, and a 50 inch TV from Beezid.com. The voting was swift and decisive with Gary, Fred, and Ashley Madison [...]

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Jamiee Grubbs was “laxed” on condoms with Tiger – his penis isn’t that big

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Jamiee Grubbs was the last contestant in the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant,” and she didn’t disappoint either. She’s kooky and angry. That’s so fucking sexy! “You look like a fun girl,” Howard said to Jamiee, “You know how to rock a bikini as they say!” It’s obvious by now. Tiger has good taste in women. “Were you [...]

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Loredana Jolie says Tiger fucks better than Michael Jordon – Tiger wants his asshole licked

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Smoking hot Loredana Jolie was up next in “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant.” “You’re a very beautiful woman,” said Howard, “You are tan. You have very big breasts. Are those real or fake?” Loredana replied, “Really expensive.” Howard asked Loredana how her life has been since being outted as one of Tiger’s girls. She called it “confusing.” “You have different [...]

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“Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” – Jamiee Grubbs, Loredana Jolie, Jamie Jungers, bare all

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Tiger’s worst nightmare just came true. Howard’s monstrosity the “Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant” went down today. Three of Tiger’s former mistresses spilled the beans on the world’s greatest golfer: Jamiee Grubbs, Loredana Jolie, and Jamie Jungers. Las Vegas sports books actually placed odds on who would show up: Jamiee Grubs +500, Jamie Jungers +500, and Loredana [...]

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Gay pornstar chokes and dies after police taser – it’s all caught on tape

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Gay pornstar Dustin Michaels—real name Andrew Grande—asphyxiated and died yesterday after swallowing a bag of pot during an altercation with Florida police. Shouldn’t “Grande” be his porn name? Cops were called after Andrew got into a fight with a friend. The situation escalated when police tried to handcuff Andrew and he resisted. During the mayhem, Andrew attempted to [...]

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Gabourey Sidibe is fat and needs help – major media backlash against Howard

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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Howard got slammed in the media for calling star of Precious Gabourey Sidibe a big fatso. “There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen,” Howard said yesterday, “Everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie.” Howard played a bunch of news reports trashing him for his [...]

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Oscars cut Tiger Woods jokes – it was “too rude”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

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The douche bags in charge of the Academy Awards chickened out and clipped a series of Tiger Woods jokes from the show. Hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were supposed to deliver the lines. An insider tells Page Six, “Some of the Tiger jokes were deemed too rude.” Fucking pussies! Grow a set. But Tiger won’t catch any breaks [...]

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Jesse Ventura wants more gays in the military

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by today. Jesse is always a topnotch guest. He’s super interesting. Howard asked Jesse how he feels about gays in the military. For a big tough macho guy, Jesse is very liberal on it. “How dare us not allow gay people to serve their country,” he told Howard, “We are not the ‘Hetero [...]

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Howard manipulated “Private Parts” to make women like him

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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When talking to Jesse Ventura about conspiracy theories today, Howard revealed a dirty little secret of his own. Howard and a team of writers made a concerted effort to make Private Parts the movie appealing to women. “Men listen to you. Women think you’re disgusting. How can we take this movie and create some sort of arc [...]

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Maniac chef sells breast milk cheese – quick, call the authorities!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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A chef at restaurant Klee Brasserie in New York City needs to be shot. McCreepy is offering cheese made out of his wife’s breast milk. “Thank you for telling me the name, I won’t be going there,” Robin told Howard. Howard thought it was disgusting—yes, it is—but the restaurant claims their phone is ringing off the hook. “I [...]

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Dan Rather says Obama couldn’t sell watermelons

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Here’s Dan Rather’s watermelon comment about President Obama. I don’t think Dan was being racist, but it is interesting that when he thinks of a black guy, watermelon pops up. Then again, everyone does it at some point. It’s funny. “Holy mack’el!”

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Howard’s mom doesn’t mix comedy with cooking – she’s stuck in his head

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Mama Stern loves to watch cooking shows, but not when they try to be entertaining and funny. “They should not mix humor and food,” says Howard in his mother’s voice, “A cooking show is supposed to be learning how to cook, and I’m not learning anything.” So this makes Howard uncomfortable. He can’t watch cooking shows without [...]

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Crazy jogging prank – oh those kooky Germans

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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So awesome! These crafty Germans dug a big hole in the middle of a jogging trail, filled it with water, covered it with leaves, and caught all the chaos on tape. The bike riders at the end are the best. Too bad you can’t see the unsuspecting victims kicking the shit out of the pranksters off [...]

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Baba Booey is a “pretentious” TV producer – Sam Simon isn’t a comedy writer

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Gary got slammed for his “TV terms” again. “The point is pretentious people like you are trying to make the business more complicated,” Howard told faux- television producer Gary. Howard read an email from Sam Simon saying he’s never heard of the term “dark.” Gary thought Sam was just trying to be funny, calling him an “aspiring comedy [...]

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Auto-tune doesn’t help Howard sing – Scott the Engineer fucks up again

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Howard fired up the auto-tuner today. It didn’t work. Howard still sounded like shit. “There’s no effect on here, Scott you fucker!” Howard yelled, “Scott just wasted thousands of dollars!” Howard tried singing “Purple Rain” with auto-tune, but he sounded as horrible as ever, no difference. “We set it to the setting that were recommended for that effect,” [...]

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Horrible “Brat Pack” at the Oscars – tribute to John Hughes

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Here’s the “Brat Pack’s” Oscars tribute to the late director John Hughes. It’s rough. Judd Nelson looks like a derelict. Molly Ringwald now plays left tackle for the Steelers. And Macaulay Culkin’s face hasn’t aged in 20 years. “The whole Brat pack was depressing,” said Howard.

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“Iron Man 2″ – new official trailer

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

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Iron Man 2 looks bad ass. In this trailer, you get a good look at Don Cheadle as War Machine. So fucking cool! And Scarlett Johansson is smoking hot in that skin tight leather outfit. Hey now!

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Topless comics fight breast cancer – “Generosi-Titties!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Standup comics, and lesbians, Amy Beckerman and Scout Durwood stopped by today to promote their “Generosi-Titties” charity, which raises awareness for breast cancer. The girls took off their shirts and performed in studio, just like they’ll be doing on Sunday, March 14th at Comix in New York City. It’s too bad Amy and Scout aren’t funny. It’ll [...]

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Howard calls Sirius XM his “greatest chapter” – “mission accomplished”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Howard proclaimed victory today, saying, “mission accomplished!” His tenure with Sirius XM is a success. Sirius XM had 600,000 subscribers when Howard signed, and after four years and a merger with XM, Howard read that Sirius XM now has 19 million subscribers. Howard stated, “Everywhere we went we delivered!” Preach on, brother Howard! When Howard decided to make his [...]

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Tommy James rocks out in studio – likes shooting his pool

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Music legend Tommy James, from Tommy James & The Shondells, dropped by today. Tommy sounded really good. Howard said he used to see Tommy on television as a kid. “I remember watching you on TV and thinking this guy must get tons of pussy,” Howard told Tommy,” It’s insane! Tommy dodged the question. He had some “good [...]

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Baba Booey still thinks he’s a TV producer – “We’re going dark boss’th!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Gary got ripped for using television terms for radio again, like going “dark” when the show is away. But radio doesn’t go dark. “On radio you say we go on vacation,” barked Howard, “We don’t go dark!” But Gary replied, “I’ll pull you ten fucking emails, can you please tells us when you’re dark.” Robin told Howard, Gary “speaks [...]

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Neil Patrick Harris’s big gay Oscar song – welcome to the “homo room”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Here’s Neil Patrick Harris reminding everyone he’s gay at the Oscars last night. It’s a super gay and super lame musical number. “Nobody knows what he’s singing about,” says Howard, “He went down twenty-five points on that one. His agent should say no to that.”

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Sirius XM’s Spring Training line-up – “Up your butt, Jobu!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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On Friday, Sirius XM kicked off its 2010 coverage of Major League Baseball Spring Training. Subscribers get access to 30 games at various Spring Training locations; including Bubba country, Tampa Bay, Florida. Coverage runs March 5th to March 26th. “Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straight ball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. [...]

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Jackie wanted $400,000 to stay with the Stern Show – tells all on “Opie & Anthony”

Sunday, March 7, 2010

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Bad Jackie, bad! On Friday, Jackie went on Opie & Anthony—who? And in true Jackie fashion, the Jokeman bitched about money. I suffered through the clip on YouTube. Yeah, there’s a double standard. I won’t post pirated Howard material, but everybody else? Fuck’em! Jackie’s little cameo on “O&A” pretty much explains his lunch date with Howard [...]

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European Poker Tour gets robbed – caught live on tape

Sunday, March 7, 2010

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On Saturday, armed robbers carrying Kalashnikov assault rifles, hand grenades, and knives, hit the European Poker Tour at the Grand Hyatt hotel in central Berlin. A lot of it was aired live, and caught on tape. Here you can see poker players and spectators hitting the dirt. It’s pretty wild. This is why I don’t gamble. And [...]

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College basketball girl fight – bitch slappin’ bitches

Saturday, March 6, 2010

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Who said chick sports aren’t as a good as guy sports? Uh, everyone! But check out Baylor’s Brittney Griner getting gully all over Texas Tech’s Jordan Barncastle. Booyah! Via The Dagger.

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Rick’s Girls pick their Oscar Winners – pole dancers get polled

Friday, March 5, 2010

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Fuck Joan Rivers and Roger Ebert’s Oscar picks! What do hot chicks who take their clothes off think? Nice ass and tits are the best credentials anyway. Rick’s Cabaret polled—tee-hee, “poled”—eighty-two Rick’s Girls for their 2010 Academy Awards winners. Here’s what they “came” up with. Best Picture – Avatar Best Actress – Meryl Streep Best Actor -   George Clooney Best [...]

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“Girl on Stern Photoshop Contest” – put Robin on the Sybian

Friday, March 5, 2010

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Sara over at Girl On Stern is up to shenanigans. Sara’s up to no good and she wants your help. She’s holding a “Girl On Stern Photoshop Contest.” It’s simple, just Photoshop Lady Quivers mounting and riding the Sybian—best “artistic expression” wins! So head over to Girl On Stern for more details. The winner gets a brand new [...]

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