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Christians told to boycott Glenn Beck – Howard catches shrapnel too

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Whacko Washington, D.C. evangelical “leader” Jim Wallis is calling upon Christians to stop watching morning zookeeper Glenn Beck. Because Glenn “McCarthy” Beck has urged religious nuts to leave the parish if they find terms like “social justice” in their church’s rhetoric. Glenn claims that’s a code word for Communism and Nazism. Wow! You usually have to pay [...]

Anti-gay Senator busted for drunk driving – driving back from a gay club

Friday, March 5, 2010

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Behold the power of man ass! It can turn even the staunchest of gay bashers, uh, gay! Roy Ashburn, “Republican” Senator from California, was arrested for drunk driving early Wednesday morning, reportedly leaving a gay dance club. Ashburn, a father of four and opponent of gay rights, had an unidentified man in the passenger seat of the [...]

Gaddafi wants jihad against Switzerland – he doesn’t like their cheese

Friday, February 26, 2010

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Libyan “leader” Muammar Gaddafi is calling for Muslims to wage holy war on Switzerland. Gaddafi, who is single handily trying to bring back lady’s pill box hats, is still pissed at Switzerland for arresting his son Hannibal “Spanky” Gaddafi in Geneva in 2008 for allegedly beating two servants at a luxury hotel. Last year, Swiss citizens backed [...]

Some ass wipe slams conservative gays – go get the straight jacket!

Monday, February 22, 2010

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Here’s Ryan Sorba from some fakakta group called “California Young Americans for Freedom” blasting conservative gays in attendance—no, not with his cock–at Friday’s Conservative Political Action Conference annual meeting. Conservative is starting to equal brainless.

“Family Guy” voice actor criticizes Sarah Palin – retard vs. retard

Saturday, February 20, 2010

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Halfwit Sarah Palin is pissed off at Family Guy for a character on the show who has Down syndrome and says her mother is the former Governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin has her own Gary the Retard at home—her son “Trig”—so she called Family Guy “unfunny” and the writers “cruel, cold-hearted people.” But Andrea Fay Friedman, who [...]

“Family Guy” takes a shot at retarded Sarah Palin – wanh, wanh, wanh!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

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Family Guy took a dig at political know-nothing Sarah Palin on Sunday night. On the show, one of the characters goes on a date with a girl who has Down’s syndrome and her mother just so happens to be the ex-governor of Alaska. Hey now! Sarah Palin has a retarded kid—with a retarded name, “Trig”—so a [...]

Republican Nancy Elliott calls anal sex “wiggling” penis in doodie

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

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Okay, not entirely untrue, it happens. We’ve all experienced a blowout. But this conservative nut job wants to repeal gay marriage because—in her mind—it says to fifth graders that dirty filthy butt sex is normal. Something tells me this old bitch’s pussy has cobwebs in it. No word if Scott DePace endorses her for president. Via tosh.0.

Slick Willy recovering after artery surgery

Monday, February 15, 2010

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Ex-President Bill Clinton is doing fine after a procedure to clear a blocked artery. Slick Willy was rushed to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City on Thursday for chest pains. “I feel great,” Bill told reporters after being released from the hospital, “The doctors and the hospital crew did a great job.” Bill already had quadruple bypass [...]

Obama gets dick sweat – no spit-take

Friday, February 5, 2010

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At a town hall meeting in New Hampshire, President Obama, after taking a sip of water, fields a question from a guy named Dick Sweat—err, Dick Swett—and somehow doesn’t blast the front row with a spit-take. No, worries, Jon Stewart made up for it.

Howard rips the Supreme Court on corporate money

Monday, February 1, 2010

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Howard didn’t like the Supreme Court’s decision to allow corporations to dole out bribes—err, “campaign contributions”—to political candidates. “It’s not the American way,” insisted Howard, “It’s not capitalism.” President Obama slammed the decision too, saying in a speech: “With all due deference to separation of powers, last week, the Supreme Court reversed a century of law that I [...]

Come fuck Senator Scott Brown’s daughters!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

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“It’s embarrassing to get on stage and say, ‘Hey, this girl, do you want her,’” said Robin. But not everybody shares those parenting beliefs. Here’s newly elected Senator from Massachusetts Scott Brown offering up his daughters during his acceptance speech. Fatherhood fail!

Scott DePace is “right” – it’s “girlie” to hear other people’s opinions

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

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“Why do I need to know what other people think,” says Scott DePace, “I know what I think.” Scott called listening to another person’s opinion “girlie.” Now that’s a good Republican! Howard thought that was retarded, saying, “Become a girl and change your opinion? You’re being silly.” But Scott is sticking to his guns. “It all comes from [...]

Rush makes helping Haiti a black issue – you can’t rush a crisis

Thursday, January 14, 2010

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Racist Rush Limbaugh doesn’t like that President Obama was so quick to offer aid to Haiti. Fat head thinks it’s a public relations move. “They’ll use this to burnish their credibility with the black community, both light-skinned and dark-skinned black community, in this country,” spewed Rush, “That’s why he could not wait to get out there!” “He’s such [...]

Surprise call from Nick Scutari – the New Jersey weed senator

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

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Out of the green—err, blue—Sen. Nick Scutari called up. Nick sponsored the bill that aims to legalize medical marijuana in New Jersey. Nick is a Stern fan too. Hey Now! But he’s no pot head. “I’ve never smoked weed before in my life,” says Nick, “But I don’t have a problem with people who do.” Howard asked, “So what [...]

Quick bullets: Beth sends Howard a birthday cake. Mariann is to trying rehabilitate High Pitch. Howard’s mom needs a vibrator.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Beth had a birthday cake delievered to Howard. Howard said it was really nice looking with the Howard fist logo on it. “I wouldn’t eat that, I would just preserve it,” he remarked. But Howard let his minions eat it. Fafa Fatso [...]

Quick bullets: Medicated Pete “kissed a girl.” Sarah Palin is not stable. King of All Blacks is a “nigga.”

Monday, January 11, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Medicated Pete had a date this weekend, and for the first time, he kissed a girl. “You ate in front of her and she still kissed you,” shouted Robin. But there was some controversy over Pete’s date. Ronnie said Pete is lying, [...]

Sarah Palin “admits” to getting crabs – “says” Jews are “worthless”

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

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Sal and Richard had fun with kooky Sarah Palin’s new audio book “Going Rogue.” In the book Sarah makes some dirty revelations. “It was one year ago this week I got crabs from Senator Stevens,” and, “I love thick black meat inside my fat cunt.” But Sarah contradicts herself, saying, “Like every ordinary American, I am tired of [...]

Quick bullets: Scientists say there is no “G-spot.” Ralph is a fuck when he drinks. NBA players have a gun fight.

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Experts now say the “G-spot” doesn’t exist. The whole thing is bizarre. “I think [girls] look at you like a creep,” he said, “It’s a little invasive.” Washington Wizards’ Gilbert Arenas—Howard remarked, “Penis?”—and Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in the locker [...]

Rush Limbaugh musical coming to Chicago – get your rotten tomatoes ready

Sunday, January 3, 2010

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Chicago’s Second City comedy troupe is bringing “Rush Limbaugh: The Musical” to theater. The new musical will be a satire, in the same vein as the troupe’s “Rod Blagojevich Superstar!” Limbaugh: The Musical will open next month, and parodies fellow kooks Ann Coulter, Karl Rove, and Donald Rumsfeld. No word if Gabourey Sidibe, a.k.a. “Precious,” will play big [...]

Jabba the Rush in serious condition – “rushed” to the hospital

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

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Big fat Rush Limbaugh was taken to a hospital in Honolulu today with chest pains. Paramedics—I’m sure reluctantly—treated him on the scene, and then brought the 58 year old pill head to Queen’s Medical Center in serious condition. Surprise, surprise, pig face was golfing at a nearby country club. No word if he was found in a pile [...]

Bristol Palin seeking sole custody of her bastard child

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

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How the pious have fallen! Holy roller Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol is suing for sole custody of her son Tripp; born out of wedlock. Fucking without rubbers, outside of marriage, and having a kid as a teenager, sounds so “conservative.” Big Easy—err, Bristol—says her family provides all the care for Tripp anyway, so cutting out dad, yokel [...]

History of Howard Stern – Howard’s bid for governor, big gay rest stop in New Jersey, dropping out of the election

Monday, December 28, 2009

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“Howard’s jokes and outrageous nonsense are well within the limits of what is permitted,” said Senator Al D’Amato, speaking on Howard’s FCC troubles. Senator Al, Howard’s longtime poker buddy, was one of the few politicians to brave the Stern Show. “Politicians who come and do the Howard Stern Show are usually out of office by the time [...]

Racist “Feliz Navidad” parody – Jose Feliciano is “outraged”

Friday, December 25, 2009

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Chicken shits! “Radio producers” Matt Fox and A.J. Rice sent a written apology to Jose Feliciano after the singer was “outraged” by their spoof of “Feliz Navidad,” renaming it “The Illegal Alien Christmas Song.” Fail! There’s nothing to say sorry about. Except trying be like Howard. Real racism or tongue-in-cheek racism aside, entertainers and people have [...]

“Iranian Cyber Army” hacks Twitter

Friday, December 18, 2009

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Tired of hurling rocks at tanks, Iranian militants turned their slingshots towards America’s internet. Twitter to be exact. Last night at 10PM, Twitter was hacked and defaced by the “Iranian Cyber Army,” bouncing people to a page with this warning: “U.S.A. Think They Controlling And Managing Internet By Their Access, But THey Don’t, We Control And Manage [...]

Chuck Schumer calls a flight attendant a “bitch” – rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

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Senator Chuck Schumer is keepin’ his pimp hand strong. On Sunday, he called a bitch, a bitch. Chuck was on a plane from New York to Washington, when he got into an argument with a flight attendant about being on the phone. She made him turn it off, so he muttered “biotch” under his breath, then later [...]

Scott DePace says the sun is getting hotter – Nick Dipaolo and Louis C.K. fight

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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Howard and token Republican Scott DePace sparred over global warming today. Gary said Scott thinks it’s a bunch of bullshit, saying, “Scott Depace thinks global warming is a global conspiracy to bankrupt rich countries.” Scott claims that isn’t true. Instead, he blames the sun. Scott asked, “Why can’t it just be from the sun getting hotter?” He’s retarded. [...]

Quick bullets: Charlie Murphy’s wife dies. Lisa G. won’t dress sexy. Tim is devouring coffee cake.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Charlie Murphy’s wife passed away. Howard said Charlie is a great guest. He’s impressed Charlie made it on his own, and is now more than just Eddie Murphy’s brother. “Cha-lee Murphy!” Howard couldn’t believe it. A new iPhone app let’s you text and [...]

Howard says its time to act on global warming

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

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Howard read an article about Bolivia, and how they’re suffering from global warming. Bolivia gets their water from a glacier, but the hotter temps have melted it away, so now Bolivia has no water. So Howard agrees that developed nations like China, India, and us, have to do something before water-starved countries go to shit. No water could [...]

Howard Stern for mayor – gets a vote in New York

Saturday, December 5, 2009

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Last month, Artie shit the bed in his bid to become Mayor of Hoboken, garnering only 8 votes. And it looks like Howard suffered the same fate in the November election for mayor of New York City. Not only did Howard lose to third term Mayor Michael Bloomberg, but he was trumped by Simpsons heel C. Montgomery [...]

Jesse Ventura doesn’t trust the government – it’s time to leave Afghanistan

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

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Jesse Ventura dropped by to plug his new show Conspiracy Theory, debuting tonight on truTV. The Governor is an awesome guest. Jesse and Howard have great chemistry together, but I think Howard would have to be the “bottom.” Jesse’s television show is all about exposing government secrets and conspiracy theories. Jesse, an ex-Navy Seal, is the perfect [...]

Archive | Politics RSS feed for this section

Christians told to boycott Glenn Beck – Howard catches shrapnel too

Anti-gay Senator busted for drunk driving – driving back from a gay club

Gaddafi wants jihad against Switzerland – he doesn’t like their cheese

Some ass wipe slams conservative gays – go get the straight jacket!

“Family Guy” voice actor criticizes Sarah Palin – retard vs. retard

“Family Guy” takes a shot at retarded Sarah Palin – wanh, wanh, wanh!

Republican Nancy Elliott calls anal sex “wiggling” penis in doodie

Slick Willy recovering after artery surgery

Obama gets dick sweat – no spit-take

Howard rips the Supreme Court on corporate money

Come fuck Senator Scott Brown’s daughters!

Scott DePace is “right” – it’s “girlie” to hear other people’s opinions

Rush makes helping Haiti a black issue – you can’t rush a crisis

Surprise call from Nick Scutari – the New Jersey weed senator

Quick bullets: Beth sends Howard a birthday cake. Mariann is to trying rehabilitate High Pitch. Howard’s mom needs a vibrator.

Quick bullets: Medicated Pete “kissed a girl.” Sarah Palin is not stable. King of All Blacks is a “nigga.”

Sarah Palin “admits” to getting crabs – “says” Jews are “worthless”

Quick bullets: Scientists say there is no “G-spot.” Ralph is a fuck when he drinks. NBA players have a gun fight.

Rush Limbaugh musical coming to Chicago – get your rotten tomatoes ready

Jabba the Rush in serious condition – “rushed” to the hospital

Bristol Palin seeking sole custody of her bastard child

History of Howard Stern – Howard’s bid for governor, big gay rest stop in New Jersey, dropping out of the election

Racist “Feliz Navidad” parody – Jose Feliciano is “outraged”

“Iranian Cyber Army” hacks Twitter

Chuck Schumer calls a flight attendant a “bitch” – rabble, rabble, rabble, rabble!

Scott DePace says the sun is getting hotter – Nick Dipaolo and Louis C.K. fight

Quick bullets: Charlie Murphy’s wife dies. Lisa G. won’t dress sexy. Tim is devouring coffee cake.

Howard says its time to act on global warming

Howard Stern for mayor – gets a vote in New York

Jesse Ventura doesn’t trust the government – it’s time to leave Afghanistan

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