SternShowBlog.com

Tommy James rocks out in studio – likes shooting his pool

Monday, March 8, 2010

Music legend Tommy James, from Tommy James & The Shondells, dropped by today. Tommy sounded really good. Howard said he used to see Tommy on television as a kid. “I remember watching you on TV and thinking this guy must get tons of pussy,” Howard told Tommy,” It’s insane! Tommy dodged the question. He had some “good [...]

Anti-gay Senator busted for drunk driving – driving back from a gay club

Friday, March 5, 2010

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Behold the power of man ass! It can turn even the staunchest of gay bashers, uh, gay! Roy Ashburn, “Republican” Senator from California, was arrested for drunk driving early Wednesday morning, reportedly leaving a gay dance club. Ashburn, a father of four and opponent of gay rights, had an unidentified man in the passenger seat of the [...]

Brittany Murphy went out with a bang – 109 vicodin go “missing”

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

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On December 9th, eleven days before she died, Brittany Murphy was issued 120 vicodin pills—no one knows why. And when they found her dead on December 20th, 109 of those vicodin magically vanished. The coroner ruled Brittany’s official cause of death pneumonia and drug intoxication. Yeah, right. If you take vicodin for “pain” the max you’re supposed to [...]

Tracy Morgan is going to be a big star – he had to call a crack head summit

Thursday, February 25, 2010

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After defiling porn star Riley Steele, Tracy Morgan continued his assault on the Stern Show. Tracy stopped by to promote his new movie Cop Out opening Friday. It co-stars action hero Bruce Willis, so it’s a big break for Tracy. “I believe you’re going to get into a whole new level now,” Howard told Tracy. But Tracy is [...]

World’s strongest beer – “Sink the Bismarck”

Monday, February 22, 2010

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Fuck Budweiser! Man up and get a hold of this shit. Made by BrewDog in Scotland, “Sink the Bismarck” is the new world’s strongest beer. It’s got 41% alcohol by volume. I think that’s 82 proof! That’s no joke. Artie’s favorite—uh, past favorite-Jack Daniel’s is only 80 proof. Screw ruffies! Get me a six-pack. If Sink the Bismarck is [...]

How to smoke Smarties – keep’n it gangsta

Sunday, February 21, 2010

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Sorry, it looks like a rap video to me. Here’s a little kid showing all his homies how to smoke Smarties. Just crush’em up and puff, puff, pass.

Rip Torn loaded and arrested video – “You little bitch!”

Monday, February 1, 2010

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In, uh, “honor” of Rip Torn’s recent drunk arrest. Here’s video of his 2004 bust for drunk driving and smashing into cars in New York City. He might be the coolest old dude ever.

Rip Torn arrested – drunk, at a bank, with a gun

Sunday, January 31, 2010

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Actor Rip Torn—from The Larry Sanders Show, hey now!—was busted Friday night for breaking into a bank, drunk and carrying a loaded gun. Cops nailed the 78 year old Rip lurking inside the Litchfield Bancorp in Salisbury, Connecticut. He gained access through a broken window. Rip didn’t steal anything, and police believe Rip was so sauced he thought [...]

Ozzy Osbourne chats with Tommy Lee – while Tommy gets a blowjob

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

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Prince of Darkness Ozzy Osbourne stopped by today—Ozzy’s a longtime friend of the show—and the mush-mouth didn’t disappoint. Sure, trying to find a private place to “scratch his balls” during taping for The Osbournes television show was a funny story. But his rap about Tommy Lee was fucking great. “You were hanging out with Mötley Crüe,” Howard set [...]

Johnny Depp didn’t die – fatal car accident is bullshit

Monday, January 25, 2010

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JD’s fashion guru Johnny Depp is very much alive; reports that he died in a drunken car crash in France are complete horseshit. This weekend a story broke that Johnny wrecked his car along a guard rail in Bordeaux, France, and police pulled his body out of the mangled automobile. Spicing up the hoax was the claim [...]

Andy Dick busted for sexual abuse – loves groping genitals

Monday, January 25, 2010

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Andy Dick was arrested early Saturday morning in West Virginia, after a gig at the Funny Bone comedy club in Huntington, for allegedly groping two victims’ genitals, and trying to kiss a third, a dude. “I’m not down with that,” the guy told Andy when he tried to suck his face; according to TMZ. Andy was taken [...]

Howard rips Ralph about New Year’s – Ralph and booze don’t mix

Thursday, January 21, 2010

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Howard finally talked about the big fuck up Ralph pulled over holiday vacation that pissed him off. Turns out—surprise, surprise—Ralph was acting like an asshole, this time at Howard’s New Year’s Eve get-together, which included the likes of Rob Zombie and Jimmy Kimmel. “I wanted Ralph there, because I knew he would be alone on New Year’s [...]

Captain Janks out of jail – keeps his rank

Thursday, January 21, 2010

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Captain Janks called up after a long absence, due to his legal and drug problems stemming from his “no show road show,” as Steve Langford puts it. Janks told Howard he’s been out of jail for over a year and made a deal with the DEA. “You’re not going to rip off any more clubs?” Howard asked. Janks [...]

Lane Kiffin is a naughty boy – drunk driving and banging coeds

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

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USC Trojans new football coach Lane Kiffin might have bailed on his University of Tennessee job after one year, but it looks like he left a shit load in his wake. Rumors are swirling that mack daddy Lane had a bachelor pad—he’s married with kids—in downtown Knoxville, where he would fuck busty coeds. Lane also crashed his [...]

Drunk Nazi arrested in Tennessee

Friday, January 15, 2010

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That winner, 28 year old Michael Amyx, was arrested on Saturday for public intoxication. Faux-Goebbels was arguing with his father and placed several calls to 911. When police arrived the deputy smelled alcohol and Amyx appeared drunk. And to top it off, he was adorned in a Nazi uniform. So the responding officer arrested him. But it’s unclear [...]

Surprise call from Nick Scutari – the New Jersey weed senator

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

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Out of the green—err, blue—Sen. Nick Scutari called up. Nick sponsored the bill that aims to legalize medical marijuana in New Jersey. Nick is a Stern fan too. Hey Now! But he’s no pot head. “I’ve never smoked weed before in my life,” says Nick, “But I don’t have a problem with people who do.” Howard asked, “So what [...]

Quick bullets: Beth sends Howard a birthday cake. Mariann is to trying rehabilitate High Pitch. Howard’s mom needs a vibrator.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Beth had a birthday cake delievered to Howard. Howard said it was really nice looking with the Howard fist logo on it. “I wouldn’t eat that, I would just preserve it,” he remarked. But Howard let his minions eat it. Fafa Fatso [...]

Mark McGwire says he used steroids – no shit!

Monday, January 11, 2010

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Cheating fuck! Nah, who cares at this point? Mark McGwire has come out of the closet. The former MLB slugger now admits to taking steroids when he broke the homerun record in 1998. Mongo—err, Mark—told the AP that he was on the juice on and off for nearly a decade. He has already called MLB commissioner Bud [...]

Hijinx at the Jon Hein Bar Mitzvah – Richard drinks, Tim eats, Sal fucks with Gary

Monday, January 11, 2010

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Jon Hein’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah was this weekend, and lots of the Stern crew attended, but not Howard. Everybody behaved—no Sal panty-sniffing—but plenty of shit still went down, like Sal fucking with Gary, turning off the televisions playing the Jets game. Howard explained, “Sal took it upon himself that whenever Gary was watching the game, Sal would [...]

No drugs found in Artie’s apartment

Saturday, January 9, 2010

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Here’s more news in the Artie case. Police did not report finding any illicit drugs in Artie’s apartment, only prescription drugs. Police document that Artie’s mom called 911, after finding him unconscious on the floor, bleeding. Artie was taken from his apartment in Hoboken to Jersey City Medical Center, where he was treated for self-inflicted stab wounds [...]

Artie tries to kill himself – our Artie is still the greatest

Thursday, January 7, 2010

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Wow, heavy shit man. Artie tried to kill himself. “I’m sad about it. I’m just all over the place emotionally about the whole thing,” Howard said. On Saturday, Arite’s mom went over to drop off food—surprise, surprise—and found him. She called 911 and Artie was rushed to the hospital. “I’m pissed off that the story got out there,” [...]

Mariah Carey’s drunk ass acceptance speech – “Vodka straight up, thank you!”

Thursday, January 7, 2010

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Here’s fatso Mariah Carey’s sloshed acceptance speech at the Palm Springs International Film Festival for her role in Precious. But Mariah’s hardly in the movie. “She is probably in the film for ten minutes,” Howard said, “A semi-retarded person could play this role that she had.”

Dr. Drew is up to his asshole in crazy people – Robin might be a 32 now

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

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Dr. Drew dropped by today to talk about the new season of Celebrity Rehab on VH1. And shit, does he have his hands full this time. On the docket are characters like ex-basket ball player Dennis Rodman, sex tape star Kari Ann Peniche, actor Tom Sizemore, and former “madam” Heidi Fleiss. “This is the most difficult group [...]

Quick bullets: Scientists say there is no “G-spot.” Ralph is a fuck when he drinks. NBA players have a gun fight.

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Experts now say the “G-spot” doesn’t exist. The whole thing is bizarre. “I think [girls] look at you like a creep,” he said, “It’s a little invasive.” Washington Wizards’ Gilbert Arenas—Howard remarked, “Penis?”—and Javaris Crittenton pulled guns on each other in the locker [...]

Quick bullets: Howard has a movie festival. J.D. turns 30. Joey Boots screams “Baba Booey” everywhere!

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Howard was busy watching movies all vacation. He loved Precious, Bad Lieutenant, The Burning Plain, Trucker, The Messenger, The Road, Brothers, Up, The Hurt Locker, The Proposal, G.I. Joe, and It’s Complicated. Fuck, that’s a lot of free time! Despite his gout, [...]

Heroin found in a box of bananas – Artie switching to the banana diet

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Wow, what a setup! Bananas and heroin, sounds like Baby Gorilla really did die and go to heaven. In Madrid, Spain, supermarket workers discovered 25 kilos of heroin hidden in a box of plantains. Plantains are bananas for Mexicans. Police, Don Quixote, and Sancho Panza were all alerted, and drug-sniffing dogs discovered 25 packets of smack, but no [...]

Artie rushed to the hospital – all details hush-hush

Sunday, January 3, 2010

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Oh fuck, here we go again! Artie has been rushed to the hospital in New Jersey, for un-divulged reasons. No official word why, but a rep told TMZ.com, “I can confirm that Artie is in the hospital. Artie has chosen to keep all information on this matter between him and his doctor. There will be no [...]

Happy fucking New Year – don’t forget, lots of pills and booze tonight

Thursday, December 31, 2009

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Just remember, before the balls drop, get good and loaded, waking up with a hangover and a dead hooker next to you is a good sign, things can only get better. Happy New Year!

Charlie Sheen busted for domestic violence – the fun Charlie is back — UPDATE — wife’s 911 call

Sunday, December 27, 2009

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Fuck the lovable slob in CBS’s Two and a Half Men, the cool Charlie Sheen is back! On Friday, Rick Vaughn was arrested for domestic violence in Aspen, Colorado, and charged with second-degree assault, menacing, and criminal mischief. You know, fun stuff, like his 1998 cocaine overdose, arrest, and eventual trip to rehab. Plus, Charlie used to [...]

Merry whatever the fuck you celebrate – go get loaded, not you Artie

Friday, December 25, 2009

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Eh, I don’t know what religion you are, don’t really care, but fuck it! Use today as a perfectly good excuse to get drunk, start fights, and bang the fat chick at the holiday party. Fiyah!

Tag Archive | "drugs & alcohol"

Tommy James rocks out in studio – likes shooting his pool

Anti-gay Senator busted for drunk driving – driving back from a gay club

Brittany Murphy went out with a bang – 109 vicodin go “missing”

Tracy Morgan is going to be a big star – he had to call a crack head summit

World’s strongest beer – “Sink the Bismarck”

How to smoke Smarties – keep’n it gangsta

Rip Torn loaded and arrested video – “You little bitch!”

Rip Torn arrested – drunk, at a bank, with a gun

Ozzy Osbourne chats with Tommy Lee – while Tommy gets a blowjob

Johnny Depp didn’t die – fatal car accident is bullshit

Andy Dick busted for sexual abuse – loves groping genitals

Howard rips Ralph about New Year’s – Ralph and booze don’t mix

Captain Janks out of jail – keeps his rank

Lane Kiffin is a naughty boy – drunk driving and banging coeds

Drunk Nazi arrested in Tennessee

Surprise call from Nick Scutari – the New Jersey weed senator

Quick bullets: Beth sends Howard a birthday cake. Mariann is to trying rehabilitate High Pitch. Howard’s mom needs a vibrator.

Mark McGwire says he used steroids – no shit!

Hijinx at the Jon Hein Bar Mitzvah – Richard drinks, Tim eats, Sal fucks with Gary

No drugs found in Artie’s apartment

Artie tries to kill himself – our Artie is still the greatest

Mariah Carey’s drunk ass acceptance speech – “Vodka straight up, thank you!”

Dr. Drew is up to his asshole in crazy people – Robin might be a 32 now

Quick bullets: Scientists say there is no “G-spot.” Ralph is a fuck when he drinks. NBA players have a gun fight.

Quick bullets: Howard has a movie festival. J.D. turns 30. Joey Boots screams “Baba Booey” everywhere!

Heroin found in a box of bananas – Artie switching to the banana diet

Artie rushed to the hospital – all details hush-hush

Happy fucking New Year – don’t forget, lots of pills and booze tonight

Charlie Sheen busted for domestic violence – the fun Charlie is back — UPDATE — wife’s 911 call

Merry whatever the fuck you celebrate – go get loaded, not you Artie

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