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Diceman hates George Costanza – Gary fucks up the headphones

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Dice was in studio today. It was classic Dice, all sorts of crazy, loud, and obnoxious. Awesome! But the interview didn’t get too far before Howard lost it on Gary, Howard didn’t like how Dice sounded through the microphone. “This goes on with every guest!” Howard roared. Howard wants action. Gary has to crack the whip. He’s got [...]

Topless comics fight breast cancer – “Generosi-Titties!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

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Standup comics, and lesbians, Amy Beckerman and Scout Durwood stopped by today to promote their “Generosi-Titties” charity, which raises awareness for breast cancer. The girls took off their shirts and performed in studio, just like they’ll be doing on Sunday, March 14th at Comix in New York City. It’s too bad Amy and Scout aren’t funny. It’ll [...]

Jim Norton sucks Jay Leno’s cock – doesn’t think Jay is a thief

Thursday, March 4, 2010

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Here’s the clip of Jim Norton on The Joy Behar show talking about Howard’s comments on Jay Leno being a thief. Jim doesn’t agree. He likes Jay. Don’t be shocked, Jim—despite being a great comic and Artie’s buddy—pals around with Jay and something called O&A. Fail!

Whoopi pisses her pants – she’s selling pussy pads

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

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Wow, that’s a long fall. Comic Relief in the 80s with Billy Crystal and Robin Williams, to hawking panty liners, dressed up as Cleopatra. Whoopi Goldberg is now the new spokesperson for Poise pads, since she, like Cleopatra, has accidents. She says she pisses herself all the time. And it doesn’t take much, just a sneeze or [...]

Joan Rivers “feels” Mrs. Spencer – a guy dies on a date with her

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

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Joan Rivers was in studio today with a “shocking” revelation. An old guy she went on a date with died at the restaurant, in middle of dinner. With that face, he might of have thought Joan was Lucifer come to drag him to hell. “He just got very quiet, and you go uh, oh!” Joan said, “I [...]

Lisa Lampanelli bangs and makes pancakes – she’s dirtier than “two girls, one cup”

Monday, March 1, 2010

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Lisa “Queen of Mean” Lampanelli dropped by today. She’ll be hosting a show tonight on Howard 101 at 7PM called “Dirty Dishes.” Dirty Dishes will cover pop-culture and includes a panel of fags and fag hags, namely Judith Regan and Frank DeCaro from OutQ. “The homos enjoy me,” Lisa told Howard, “I think the fags just like [...]

“Dice” to headline “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” anniversary tour

Friday, February 26, 2010

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Dice will be doing shows at the Las Vegas Hilton later this year to kick off a tour celebrating the 20th anniversary of The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. The 1990 movie featured Dice in the lead role, Ford Fairlane, a macho “rock & roll” detective. Ha, no shit! “Fairlane” co-starred 80s music icons Billy Idol, Morris Day, Wayne [...]

Tracy Morgan is going to be a big star – he had to call a crack head summit

Thursday, February 25, 2010

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After defiling porn star Riley Steele, Tracy Morgan continued his assault on the Stern Show. Tracy stopped by to promote his new movie Cop Out opening Friday. It co-stars action hero Bruce Willis, so it’s a big break for Tracy. “I believe you’re going to get into a whole new level now,” Howard told Tracy. But Tracy is [...]

Riley Steele fucks and sucks as a teenager – Tracy Morgan works the Sybian — UPDATE — free trial to RileySteele.com

Thursday, February 25, 2010

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Porn star Riley Steele was in studio today. Gary fell in love with her. “Most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen in porn,” he said. Everyone thought she was good looking enough to be a real model. But Howard thinks she’s perfect for porn. “It’s smart,” he insisted, “She’s going to be the top porn girl.” And Riley was [...]

“Death at a Funeral” – official trailer

Thursday, February 25, 2010

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Weird, the original Death at a Funeral came out in 2007, but Tracy Morgan and Chris Rock have already done a remake. It’s basically the black version of the movie. Kevin Hart and Martin Lawrence are in it too. That’s a funny fucking lineup. “Mo’ money, mo’ money, Mo’ money!”

Gilbert Gottfried commercial – the amazing “Shoedini”

Thursday, February 4, 2010

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Here’s Gilbert’s grating commercial for the “Shoedini,” the amazing extendable shoehorn. Fail! “Oh my God, this is the most irritating commercial I have ever seen,” joked Howard.

Joan Rivers says Jay and Conan are “unfunny” – uh, so is she

Monday, February 1, 2010

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Joan Rivers isn’t a fan of Conan or Jay. She doesn’t think either of them is funny—kind of the pot calling the kettle black. In an interview with Vanity Fair, she shit on Conan, but says the late night fiasco is the best thing that ever happened to Conan. “He’s not that funny, the numbers are going [...]

Robert Schimmel sucks dick for 50 million bucks

Friday, January 29, 2010

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Not bullshit. Bob is one of my favorite comics. I saw him at MSG once with Jim Breuer and Dave Chappelle. It was fucking great! The place reeked of weed too, except I took some uptight cunt as a date; a hundred-something bucks and her twatness wouldn’t put out. Bob’s HBO special Unprotected is a must-see, [...]

Robert Schimmel’s got 99 problems and a bitch is one – and his liver is another — UPDATE –

Thursday, January 28, 2010

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Comedian Bob Schimmel was in today. Bob’s a long time friend of the show. But Bob wasn’t all that funny today. Bob’s got a soon-to-be ex-wife from hell. She’s his daughter’s hot young friend he married after splitting with his first wife; who he married three times. But now his new marriage, it’s a disaster. “I’m a celebrity to [...]

Greg Fitzsimmons is going bald – doesn’t like thin Scott the Engineer

Thursday, January 14, 2010

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A balding Greg Fitzsimmons was in studio today. “I don’t know if you notice, my hair is beginning thin to out, just on the top,” Greg complained to Howard. “When you have male pattern baldness, you have to pray that it’s a good pattern,” Robin snickered. Howard said, “You should just shave your whole head.” But Greg didn’t [...]

Gilbert Gottfried forgets his kids – he’s not affected by Artie

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

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Gilbert let us deeper into the scary world of Gilbert Gottfried today. Gilbert isn’t much for connecting with his kids, family, friends, whatever. He didn’t even have any well wishes for Artie. Gary was talking to Gilbert and Artie came up, but Gilbert just glossed over it. “Gilbert at no point said, hey how is Artie,” says Gary. So [...]

Patton Oswalt rips Jay Leno

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

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Here’s Patton Oswalt shitting on Jay Leno. Patton is basically calling Jay a hack. “One the best comedians of our generation, he was truly one of the best standups,” says Patton, “Willfully threw that switch off and went, ‘No more for you guys,’ and now this.” This being the lame Tonight Show.

Charlie Murphy started doing stand up at 42 – he’s not embarrassed by farts

Thursday, January 7, 2010

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“Charlie Murphy!” stopped by today to promote his book about his comedy career and wild showbiz life. “One of the things I learned about you, you had never tried standup comedy until you were 42 years old, when you got on the Chappelle Show,” said Howard, “That’s got to be nuts! You know when you first [...]

Kathy Griffin says “fuck’n” on live TV – quick, hide the Christians

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Alert the FCC! Kathy Griffin dropped the f-bomb on CNN’s live New Year’s Eve special. Eh, who gives a fuck? You’ll miss it if you’re not paying attention. It’s around the 15 second mark.

The “skinny” on Artie – it’s a family matter

Monday, January 4, 2010

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Howard is staying quiet on the Artie debacle. Artie’s family is keeping it private. “I’m going to honor that, and respect that,” Howard revealed. But Howard was pissed at all the Artie bashing, especially on Stern “Fan” Network. “Artie has given the show tremendous moments of great comedy,” Howard said, “He is a good man.” And Howard [...]

“The Jeff Dunham Show” cancelled like a mother fucker!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

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Talk about premature ejaculation! In October, The Jeff Dunham Show scored the highest ratings for a debut series on Comedy Central, with 5.4 million viewers. Not too bad for the puppet master of hacky comedy, but it turns out the show shot its load way too soon. By week two, viewership dropped 55%, and in December ratings [...]

Joan Rivers is going back to E!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

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Methuselah—err, Joan Rivers—is returning to E! after four years with the TV Guide Channel. In 2005, the Nosferatu of Comedy left the E! network over a salary dispute, but now E! says they’re “extremely excited” to have her back. So starting Janurary 18th, Joan will host Fashion Police during major award shows in 2010. Joan will co-host with [...]

Bob Levy’s house of horrors – he hired “retarded” workers — UPDATE –

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

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Here’s cantankerous old man Levy berating the clowns he hired, over email, to build his new shed. One guy shits with the door open, another opens soda cans with his teeth, and some fat dude works topless. “I think they’re retarded, some of the workers,” explains Rev. Bob, “Jesus Christ, if you had these people working [...]

Quick bullets: Nick Dipaolo fight was just a bit. Leno killed network television. Another “Gossip Game” shutout.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Supposedly, the brawl between Louis C.K. and Nick Dipaolo was just a bit for Louis’s television show, but Howard remarked, “I don’t know, that sounds awfully real to me.” “I thought about it all afternoon,” Robin said, “And I laughed about it [...]

Scott DePace says the sun is getting hotter – Nick Dipaolo and Louis C.K. fight

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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Howard and token Republican Scott DePace sparred over global warming today. Gary said Scott thinks it’s a bunch of bullshit, saying, “Scott Depace thinks global warming is a global conspiracy to bankrupt rich countries.” Scott claims that isn’t true. Instead, he blames the sun. Scott asked, “Why can’t it just be from the sun getting hotter?” He’s retarded. [...]

Quick bullets: Bill Maher won’t do the show. Oral Roberts dies. Howard has to hurry out.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Howard had to wrap up the show quickly today. “I received a call,” he said, “Something is going on in my life.” It didn’t sound like an emergency, but he skipped Jon Hein and Steve Langford. Maybe Bianca fell into the pool, [...]

Quick bullets: Charlie Murphy’s wife dies. Lisa G. won’t dress sexy. Tim is devouring coffee cake.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

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Real fast, here’s some more shit that went down on the show. Hey now! Charlie Murphy’s wife passed away. Howard said Charlie is a great guest. He’s impressed Charlie made it on his own, and is now more than just Eddie Murphy’s brother. “Cha-lee Murphy!” Howard couldn’t believe it. A new iPhone app let’s you text and [...]

Artie bails on his Comix show – Jim Florentine replaces him

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

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Uh oh, the shit’s hitting the fan! Baby Gorilla canceled his set at Comix comedy club on Thursday. Jim Florentine will take over the spot. So does this mean Artie is really fucked up? And finally getting some real help? Who knows! But if he needs help, hopefully he’s getting it, or he could just be canceling the [...]

Tuesday’s show overload! Fred’s neighbor gives him a sex talk. Howard can’t fix everyone. John Stamos is being extorted.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

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A lot of shit happens on the show, you can’t cover everything! So each day, SternShowBlog breaks down all the cool stuff I missed from yesterday’s show. Hey now! Fred didn’t get a sex talk from his parents. His neighbor gave him one. He drew a picture in the dirt with a stick and said, “This [...]

Kenan Thompson is Saturday Night Live’s “black replacement” guy

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

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Saturday Night Live cast member Kenan Thompson dropped by and talked about landing his SNL gig. It wasn’t easy. Kenan said most of the people auditioning were standup comics, and he isn’t one. Kenan is more of a comic actor than a comedian. So when he performed for the SNL suits, in front of a live audience [...]

Tag Archive | "standup comics"

Diceman hates George Costanza – Gary fucks up the headphones

Topless comics fight breast cancer – “Generosi-Titties!”

Jim Norton sucks Jay Leno’s cock – doesn’t think Jay is a thief

Whoopi pisses her pants – she’s selling pussy pads

Joan Rivers “feels” Mrs. Spencer – a guy dies on a date with her

Lisa Lampanelli bangs and makes pancakes – she’s dirtier than “two girls, one cup”

“Dice” to headline “The Adventures of Ford Fairlane” anniversary tour

Tracy Morgan is going to be a big star – he had to call a crack head summit

Riley Steele fucks and sucks as a teenager – Tracy Morgan works the Sybian — UPDATE — free trial to RileySteele.com

“Death at a Funeral” – official trailer

Gilbert Gottfried commercial – the amazing “Shoedini”

Joan Rivers says Jay and Conan are “unfunny” – uh, so is she

Robert Schimmel sucks dick for 50 million bucks

Robert Schimmel’s got 99 problems and a bitch is one – and his liver is another — UPDATE –

Greg Fitzsimmons is going bald – doesn’t like thin Scott the Engineer

Gilbert Gottfried forgets his kids – he’s not affected by Artie

Patton Oswalt rips Jay Leno

Charlie Murphy started doing stand up at 42 – he’s not embarrassed by farts

Kathy Griffin says “fuck’n” on live TV – quick, hide the Christians

The “skinny” on Artie – it’s a family matter

“The Jeff Dunham Show” cancelled like a mother fucker!

Joan Rivers is going back to E!

Bob Levy’s house of horrors – he hired “retarded” workers — UPDATE –

Quick bullets: Nick Dipaolo fight was just a bit. Leno killed network television. Another “Gossip Game” shutout.

Scott DePace says the sun is getting hotter – Nick Dipaolo and Louis C.K. fight

Quick bullets: Bill Maher won’t do the show. Oral Roberts dies. Howard has to hurry out.

Quick bullets: Charlie Murphy’s wife dies. Lisa G. won’t dress sexy. Tim is devouring coffee cake.

Artie bails on his Comix show – Jim Florentine replaces him

Tuesday’s show overload! Fred’s neighbor gives him a sex talk. Howard can’t fix everyone. John Stamos is being extorted.

Kenan Thompson is Saturday Night Live’s “black replacement” guy

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